Archive for the ‘Disney’ Category

The Penises Get Mad When We're Late

Girl: I'm really bad at observing people.
Friend: I love Sleeping Beauty.
Girl: I can't write about art if it's, like, asked by my teachers. That's what I hate about this class. Last semester I had to reckon with a Louise Bourgeois essay… All her penises. Are you guys ready to go?

–Cooper-Hewitt, National Design Museum

Overheard by: Alex Bailey

Still Think Children Are Precious?

Four-year-old girl: You know, sometimes I fart from my pagina.
Seven-year-old boy: That's impossible, you cannot fart from your pagina.
Four-year-old girl: Yes, I really fart from my pagina, and I do it all the time.
Seven-year-old boy: How do you know it's from your pagina and not your butt?
Four-year-old girl: I know what comes from my butt and what comes from my pagina. My pagina feels like a button.
Seven-year-old boy: I don't care. You do not fart from your pagina.
Four-year-old girl: Yes, I do, and Cinderella does, too.
Seven-year-old boy: Just stop talking to me.

–Rosa Mexicana, 61st & Columbus

Overheard by: Ariella

Wednesday Fa La La La Liners

Nerdy middle aged white woman to postal clerk: Yes, I'd like just one sheet of the Disney, and one of the Kwanzaa.

–Cathedral Station Post Office

Overheard by: Emily B.

Woman yelling down a stairwell: Happy holidays to you, ma'am! Hope you choke on a candy cane!

–Central Park South

Overheard by: Daisy Mae

Girl: One morning, I woke up and I thought it was Christmas. Then I went outside and I realized it's not Christmas!

–57th & Columbus

Overheard by: Have a holly jolly Columbus Day?

Irish tourist woman: You went to Macy's? Did you see outside? They have black Santas here.

–Brendan's Bar

Overheard by: Danny

Old guy scanning tickets, singing quietly to self after each bar code beep: Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way…

–Madison Square Garden

Overheard by: Oh what fun it is to ride in a one horse open sleigh!

Conductor on speaker: Ladies and gentlemen, we will be arriving shortly. In case you haven't finished your Christmas shopping, feel free to stop by the Metro North booth. You could buy a 10-trip for the kids, a weekly for the wife, or a one-way for the in-laws. Merry Christmas.

–Metro North

Overheard by: Christmas Spirit