Archive for the ‘Doctors’ Category

From Complaining About the Discharge?

Patient: I think my boyfriend and I have contracted either gonorrhea or chlamydia.
Doctor: What makes you say that?
Patient: Well, he's having kind of a pussy discharge from his penis and a burning sensation when he urinates.
Doctor: And what symptoms have you been having?
Patient: Well, I've had a sore throat… –NYU Medical Center Overheard by: The nurse who just had to hear this story…

Uncle Tom’s Wednesday One-Liners

Short, fat sista: If she was only around my age, then I wouldn’t mind a slave for life. –27th & 7th Overheard by: tuna on rye White guy in scrubs: Wow. Now I know what it felt like to be in the bottom of a slave ship. –Crowded Franklin Ave 2/3/4/5 platform, Brooklyn Overheard by: pmd Punk girl to friend: I’m going to make him my Ukrainian sex slave! –N 4th St & Driggs Ave Overheard by: Hipsterrrrrs Dude: Yeah, well, let me say this in English — she got arrested for selling people… –Madison Square Garden Black girl watching Asian girl mop floor: Slavery is back! –NYFA, Union Square Overheard by: kswin

Liv Tyler: Tell Me about It

Doctor #1, about Norah Jones: Did you know her father is Ravi Shankar?
Doctor #2: Her mother must be extremely good-looking. –Doctors’ lounge, St. Vincent’s Hospital Overheard by: Danny D Headline by: s h Runners-Up: · “And we know why she didn’t come.” – Offbalance · “Nip, Tuck, or Genetic Luck?” – Iconny · “Or Maybe It’s Just that When You Multiply a Negative by a Negative, You End Up With a Positive” – Vasyl · “Sex and the Sitar” – nicky c · “The Good, the Bad, and the Ravi” – Riley
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Wednesday One-Liners Used the Rhythm Method

Girl: Last time you told me something was overrated I got pregnant. –Sephora, Broadway Overheard by: linzz Guy: … So then she changed her middle name to something like "Afterbirth…" –Spring St Overheard by: boston bobby College guy on cell: He was like, ‘Shit, she’s got a bun in the oven!’ And I was like, ‘Oh, shit!’ –Columbia University Overheard by: roo Chick: She said he talked to her on the phone and that’s how he got her pregnant. –Barnes & Noble, Union Square Overheard by: Wondering how that works Preggers: I’m gonna across this street against the light, pregnant and all, and I’m not gonna have a miscarriage. –Eastern Pkwy & Classon Ave, Crown Heights, Brooklyn Employee to another: I only gained two pounds during my pregnancy, and I’m on my seventh month! –Burger King, 5th Ave, between 36th & 37th Overheard by: EE Grimshaw NYU girl on cell: … So then the doctor comes in and he goes, ‘Houston, we have a problem…" I know, right? What’s with doctors trying to be all funny when they’re telling you that you’re pregnant? –NYU bus Overheard by: tj