Archive for the ‘Dorks, Geeks and Nerds’ Category

I Looked Into The Abyss, and It Shit Itself

Geek: Well, she was dog-sitting and the dog died. The family, I guess, was someplace where they couldn’t get home, so she had to take care of it.
Dude: Take care of it?
Geek: Well, she was in Boston but didn’t have a car and didn’t know what to do with it because she couldn’t carry it, so she put it in a rolling suitcase to take it to the vet. On her way there, some guy saw her struggling with the bag and offered to help her carry it. When they were almost to the vet he asked what was in the bag, and, because I guess she didn’t think she could tell him that there was a dead dog in the bag, she said, ‘Electronics!’ Apparently, he looked at her, looked at the bag, punched her in the face, and ran off with the dog! Can you fucking believe it?! He stole the dead dog!
Quiet friend: … Did she have a black eye?
Dude: I can’t wait to talk to her when we get back to Boston so I can make fun of her! [Later…] I swear to God, if some girl I was fucking got knocked up, I would kill myself. Well, I would kill myself and then I would punch her in the face… Fuck, if she got pregnant, I would tear that baby out with a fork!

–Metro-North, New Haven line

Does That Mean That Hugo Chavez Doesn’t Wear Pasties?

Nerd: Didn’t Fidel Castro die this week?
Geek: No.
Nerd: Oh… I must have had that dream again.

–William Gibson signing, Barnes & Noble

Overheard by: Dan Lurie

Headline by: mark manne

Runners-Up:
· “And Jessica Simpson Didn’t Blow You Either.” – Chuck Roast

· “Freud: Sometimes a Dream About a Cigar Is Just a Dream About a Cigar” – Vasyl
· “I Guess Rush Limaugh and I Weren’t Tied Up and Spanked by Midgets Either?” – Cru Jones
· “I Guess That’s Why the Easter Bunny Was There” – allison
· “Winney the Pooh Being Raped by Danger Mouse Was Kind Of a Tip Off” – Kit Kat


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