Archive for the ‘Dreams’ Category

Wednesdays Wet Their One-Liners

Girl: So then I said "mother, I am 20 years old and you cannot tell me I can't go to Wet 'n Wild!" –Central Park Overheard by: Quella Weird chick: Eeeeek! That toilet is flooding! My Payless shoes are getting wet! My beautiful Payless shoes! All this water looks like that movie, The Blob! Oh, I hate you, Steve McQueen! I hate you, I hate you! –Women's Restroom, Port Authority Overheard by: Amber Star Drunk girl to drunker friend who spilled beer on her lap: Again with the vaginal wetness? –LIRR Guy to a girl in laundromat: Why can't you dry your underwear? Is that because they're so used to being wet when you're wearing them? –1st. Ave & 7th St Overheard by: Mike Girl to boy: So about this whole wet dream thingy… –C Train

A Shitload Of Wednesday One-Liners

Eight-year-old Russian boy, in Martin Luther King voice: I had a dream, that one day…I pooped. (giggles) –Q Ttrain Overheard by: Robert G. Drunk bro on phone: I know I'm not the guy you fuck in the shower, but can I shit on your chest? –Fordham University Woman on cell: There's no law against defecation. –3rd Ave & 10th St Overheard by: SophieMed Man whispering into cell: I'm going to have to take a number two while we're talking. –Sunshine Suites Young man on cell: We're in the ticket line. Are you still pooping? –Castle Clinton Overheard by: B Fraz 20-something guy to friends: When I poop on something, I want someone to notice! –Bushwick, Brooklyn Overheard by: I prefer to flush

Wednesday One-Liners Are Fully Prepared to Dial 911

Female black security guard to male black security guard: So you got two kids that you know of… –MoMa Security agent: You are now entering the metal detector area, so those of you with wooden cell phones should feel free to keep those in your pockets. –JFK Overheard by: Jason Security guard to teens blocking entrance: Hmm, just what I need at 9 am, a motherfucking school group. –Paley's Museum of Radio and Television Overheard by: scarface Security guard on cell: Why isn't your hand on your butt? –Duane Reade Overheard by: Lord Almighty Library security guard: Welcome to the library, where your wildest dreams come true. –St. John's University