Archive for the ‘Drinks’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Don Protective Camouflage

Suit: So, you wanna bring the strippers to paintball?

–45th St & Ave of the Americas

Suit: They are not stupid people, even though they are from the Midwest.

–53rd & Park

Overheard by: MJ

Suit: We’re meeting in conference room G, but there’s still blood in there from the last meeting.

–53rd & Park

Overheard by: Russo

Suit whispering baby talk into another’s ear: Freddie, wash my butthole.

–Brooklyn-bound Q train

Late-50s suit to another: My next-door neighbors, they don’t know how to communicate with their Mexicans.

–N & R platform, 49th St

Overheard by: Wish I could have heard more

Suit to another: I don’t care what they say — once a french maid, always a french maid.

–Rockefeller Center

Suit on cell: If it wasn’t for goat’s milk I don’t know how I would’ve made it through college.

–45th St & 6th Ave

Overheard by: y2jon

Yes.

Loud mother: So that's what this is about? Really?
Unhappy young son: (looks down, says nothing)
Loud mother: Really? That's what this is all about? An orange drink! This is all because of an orange drink?
Unhappy son: (looks down, says something barely audible)
Loud mother: I'm overreacting? You think I'm the one who is overreacting??

–Union Square Park

Overheard by: tycho anomaly

Wednesday One-Liners Are My Anti-Drug

Hot black girl: Where did summer go? Now we're all back to wearing glasses and snorting Adderall… or taking it with water.

–24th St & 3rd Ave

Guy to friend: If I just gave up speed I'd totally be getting more ass.

–Bleecker & LaGuardia

Overheard by: Jack

Guy to another: Yeah, so you take a gram of coke, then mix it with a ground-up Xanax, then mash up an E. Then you put it all into pill form, and down it with a Sparks!

–N Train

Architecture professor: Everything in moderation… except for heroin. Heroin, you go for the gusto.

–Pratt Institute

Overheard by: Denali

Wednesday's Great With One-Liners

Eight-year-old girl, singing: Fat lips, big lips, get your pregnant lips here!

–6 Train

Out-of-breath man on steps: Okay, man, breathe. Breathe like you're having your first child!

–W4 Subway

Overheard by: Keep Pushing On!

Pregnant woman on cell: So, yeah, I'm about 5 centimeters dilated, so I'm going to get a Tasti D-Lite and then go to the hospital.

–Rockefeller Center

Hot skinny, Asian girl to hot, skinny, blonde friends: So, am I going to get pregnant this month or what?

–57th & Park

Overheard by: would have liked to help her

Girl on phone: Okay, so I got the pregnancy test and the vodka. We'll see which one wins.

–6 Train