Woman: I smell crack comin’. I’m not buggin’, right? –Bed-Stuy Overheard by: Mike Epstein Stumbling woman: Shit, my eyesight’s so fucking good, I can find crack in the motherfuckin’ snow! –Bowery mission Overheard by: lancelot quintana
Passenger to woman stumbling on crowded train and talking to herself: Shut up and take a shower you crackhead!
Drug-addled woman: I'm not a crackhead, I'm a dope-fiend!
Overheard by: david
Chick: Do you ever wonder if we’ll get tired of being so rich? You know, like what if later in life we randomly, like, decide to renounce our possessions or something drastic and move to Africa?
Man: What, are you saying you don’t enjoy our lifestyle anymore?
Chick: I don’t know… hey, do you wanna get some coke later?
–82nd & 1st
Overheard by: chuzzle in space
Old junkie guy #1: …So the bitch is fucking bitching about wearin’ a condom. She won’t let me bust my nut in her ’til I slap one on. So I do! And the bitch gives me crabs!
Old junkie guy #2: What a ho. –Bx15 bus
Bike messenger screaming to another: That’s why I love you. Because you support my drug habit!
–3rd Ave & 10th St
Five-year-old with mother: I’m gonna get get get you hiiiigghh!
–10th & Broadway
Overheard by: evanescent
Mom to three-year-old daughter: Sit up! Sit up! Are you on crack?
–2 train, the Bronx
Overheard by: MK
Professor: I remember this one acid trip…
–NYU, Silver Center
Overheard by: Limey
Stoner dude: I get high to get high. I don’t expect much, but it passes time and it kills hangovers.
–17th & 8th
Overheard by: Lara
Thugette on pimped-out cell: Honey, I told yo’ ass before, I’ll tell you again: once a nigga puts rims on his Fed-Ex truck, you know he’s a drug dealer
–36th Ave station, Astoria
Overheard by: Akojam Milas
Bag lady: Ladies and gentlemen, my husband and I are homeless. We can’t stay at our shelter during the day so we come on the train to get food. Today we are asking for money so we can do laundry. Anything you can give will help.
Hobo: Why don’t you just admit that you’re gonna buy crack? I’m in the same line of work, don’t believe her. –N train
Chick: Hey, remember that time when you snorted coke off that stripper’s ass?
–Scruffy Duffy’s, 46th St & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Lauren DeGasperis
Lady: I was down in Tijuana getting some dental work done, and I fell asleep in the chair. Best sleep I ever had! They should sedate me more often. Girl (under her breath): I couldn’t agree more. –audience waiting room for the Tony Danza Show Overheard by: Renee B.
Dopey guy: She looks like that chick on the Wendy's commercials.
Less dopey guy: Um…you mean…Wendy?
–Drop Off Service, 13th & Ave A
Headline by: aileen
· “…AKA Pippi Longstocking’s DoppelgÃ¤nger” – Deanna
· “No, Carrot Top” – johnnyb
· “She Has a NAME?!?!” – sizzle
· “Until Pippi Longstocking Wins Her Lawsuit, Yes” – Cat
Click here to see the new Headline Contest
Woman #1: Oh! This guy is so hot.
Woman #2: He’s a druggie.
Woman #1: He’s so hot. Oh God. I can’t even stand it!
Woman #2: Maybe you’ll meet him in rehab. –MTV Studios, Times Square