Archive for the ‘Druggies’ Category

Happy Birthday, Mithras!

Red State Girl: Is that a hammer in your bag?
Dealer: Yeah. It’s a metaphor. ‘Cause Jesus was a carpenter, see. And I walk with Jesus.
Red State Girl: Oh. –29th Street & 7th Ave. Overheard by: M. Martin

WednesDEA One-Liners

Loud guy: Hey! Illegal drugs, anyone? Illegal drugs? I want to buy some illegal drugs! –6th Ave & 34h St Overheard by: Emily College girl to friend: Remember that time when you slept with that drug trafficker? –33rd & 3rd Man in restaurant: After the roofies I took I was a total mess, it was amazing. –23rd & 10th Overheard by: Matt Man to friend holding Diet Coke: Do you remember when they had this at that gay bathhouse I had to go to because my drug dealer was there? –Duane Reade Dude, about crowd: I'm so glad we dropped acid before coming here. –Trader Joe's, Union Square Overheard by: Kat Loud girl on cell: She can't just call you up and like, reminisce and be like, "remember when we loved each other?" Oh, and I don't even want to talk about the conversation we had this morning. There's no excuse to do acid! –Wagner College

…Pipe Wrench. What?

Employee #1 on phone: So, I’m at your apartment and I found your pipe, but I can’t find your–
Employee #2: Dude, stop… You’re on speakerphone! –Office, 44th & Broadway

The Drug Legalization Debate; NYC Edition

Hobo: Look, I’m not going to lie to you. I’m not hungry or sick, I just need some money so I can get high, but it’s just weed, I don’t do heroin or cocaine or any of that shit.
Guy: You know, it’s because of guys like you that people think pot should be illegal! Look at you! When I get high, I pay my own way! I earn my own money and get high! There are little kids on this train! What do you think they’re going to learn? Man, think a little! –4 train Overheard by: Alice S.

Wednesday One-Liners Go Looking for a Vein

Girl #1 to girl #2: Wouldn't you just rather have a night where we just get really high and scissor? –Grand & Union, Brooklyn Guy on cell: So they're smoking crack and fucking on his mother's bed! –17th & 8th Ave Overheard by: Dave Little kid: Look, I'm on crack! –Apple Store, Staten Island Mall Overheard by: Robert Junkie to junkie companion, standing in front of Band-Aids: I need to test positive for methadone and negative for everything else… –Walgreens, Union Square Hobo on train: Does anyone have any money for me? Any food? Any opium? Lots and lots of opium? –Uptown 6 Train Overheard by: left my opium stash at home 20-something blond girl on cell: You just have to convince them that you care more about college than you do about drugs, and they'll give you another chance…that's what I did! –Chinatown Bus Overheard by: GavinJoyce Tourist: So I called her up and said, "Come down or you're going to miss breakfast, and I want to have breakfast with you." And all she said was, "I really like opium." and I was like, "Oh, okay." –33rd & 7th Overheard by: EthanK

If It’s That Much Fun, You Weren’t Doing the Right Drugs

20-Something guy #1: I loved rehab.
20-Something guy #2: I did, too.
20-Something guy #1: You know, I’m so grateful for the friends. –19th & 8th Overheard by: Sebastian White
Headline by: Adam Nathan
Runners-Up:
· “And Don’t Forget the Free Detox Poncho” – Toby
· “And By ‘Friends,’ He Means ‘Points of Reference.'” – Jessica P.
· “And Your Daughters Appreciate Not Having to Say They Fell Down the Stairs at School” – Fake Jew
· “However, My Intervention Was a Bore.” – Sean
· “If I Ever Get Lonely, I Know I Can Just Relapse.” – Colin McCleod
· “It’s Hard to Find People Who Understand My Smurf Porn Addiction.” – John
· “Its Just Like Summer Camp! But With No Blow” – Liss
· “So No One Told Ya Life Was Gonna Be This Wayyy (Clap, Clap, Clap, Clap)” – pete
· “That’s Spelled F-I-E-N-D-S” – Bostonian
· “They Were The Mayo On My Cold Turkey” – Hellboy
· “You Should See the Support at the Sexaholics Meeting” – Mike

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