Girl: If you want to get a feel for coke, chop up an aspirin and snort it up your nose. That should do it. –Joseph’s on 49th Street Overheard by: Megan Buckley
Archive for the ‘Druggies’ Category
You Can’t Spell “Incoherent” Without “Heroin”
Junkie #1: He’s a millionaire…just gives his money away. He’s a Jew bastard. But he writes his check like a chicken scratch.
Junkie #2: Oh, they can’t write anyway.
–Meth clinic, 161st Street
Happy Birthday, Mithras!
Red State Girl: Is that a hammer in your bag?
Dealer: Yeah. It’s a metaphor. ‘Cause Jesus was a carpenter, see. And I walk with Jesus.
Red State Girl: Oh.
–29th Street & 7th Ave.
Overheard by: M. Martin
I Learned By Watching You
Gay man #1: You should stop doing coke and just do ecstasy, because the coke makes you a shady bitch.
Gay man #2: Are you on coke right now?
–East Village
Overheard by: Tibbie X
No Worries– It Happens All the Time.
Man with joint: Hey lady, wanna get high?
Girl: What are you, a freak? Don't bother me, asshole.
Man: No, I'm a dope dealer.
Girl: Oh, sorry, I thought you wanted a date. I'll take two dimes.
–7th & Bleecker
You Really Do Get a Little Something Extra with a Columbia Education.
College miniskirt #1: Wow, I feel so nauseous.
College miniskirt #2: It must be all the Adderall we took.
College miniskirt #1: You're right, I'll probably just throw it up when we get to the bar.
–110th St & Amsterdam Ave
Overheard by: Nikki
…And Smoke Them on Behalf Of the Recipients
20-something girl to much older date: So do you smoke weed?
Guy: Not so much anymore.
20-something girl: Me either… Not much… I mean, it's been a long time… But I do know this awesome guy on St. Mark's who gives me cheap pipes and has great shit. He always has something new for me.
Guy, after pause: Actually, it sounds like you smoke a lot.
20-something girl, after embarrassed pause: Well… I buy a lot of gifts.
–G Train
Dear Uncle Sam– Have You Thought About Creating Food Stamps Specifically for Drugs?
Dealer: You got the rest of the money?
Buyer: Yeah, it's right here–look in the sock. (hands him sock)
Dealer, looking in sock: Bitch, I ain't no grocery! I ain't take yo' food stamps! (throws contents of sock–change and stamps–all on the ground)
–Nostrand Ave & St Mark's
Overheard by: whyileftbrooklyn
The Deathmatian?
Glue sniffer #1: You wanna hear something fucked up?
Glue sniffer #2: Yeah.
Glue sniffer #1: Do you wanna know how she died? She tripped over her dog.
–F Train
Overheard by: 310 retuns to 212
Hugs, Not Wednesday One-Liners!
NYU professor: Stay away from drugs. (pause) Unless they're recreational and you know what you're doing!
–NYU Silver Center
Overheard by: liz
Tall kid: I don't like opiates in general. I'm for up, not down. At any rate, I have a fucking honky horn!
–Hunter College High School
Guy: I think I need to do more shrooms and acid.
–Union Square Park
Overheard by: Jordan
Girl to friend: You should try something natural, like shrooms.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Julie
Druggie clerk on cell: I mean: come on, man! That's my fucking apartment. If he wants to smoke weed or shoot up in my apartment, it's like, whatever. But crack? No. That's my fucking home. Seriously.
–St. Mark's Place
Overheard by: Emmy