Archive for the ‘Druggies’ Category

I Don't Care If She Has a Name. Now Make Me a Square Burger, Bitch

Dopey guy: She looks like that chick on the Wendy's commercials.
Less dopey guy: Um…you mean…Wendy? –Drop Off Service, 13th & Ave A Headline by: aileen Runners-Up:
· “…AKA Pippi Longstocking’s Doppelgänger” – Deanna
· “No, Carrot Top” – johnnyb
· “She Has a NAME?!?!” – sizzle
· “Until Pippi Longstocking Wins Her Lawsuit, Yes” – Cat
Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Wednesday One-Liners Are Walkin' in a Winter Wonderland

Woman: One time this guy punched me…but it was alright, cause I was on coke. –2 Train Overheard by: Laura Grossman Female hipster on cell: I'm coked up and all alone, Harvey, how do you expect me to feel? –Humboldt & Ainslie, Williamsburg Overheard by: Joseph Hernandez Girl on cell: I haven't done coke in like a week. It's been a rough week. –Upper East Side Hot 20-something tourist girl to friend: Pfft, the Meatpacking District. That's false advertising…I got no meat packed in me last night. All I did was steal that bag of cocaine from those guys. –Broadway & Wooster Overheard by: ClassyGal Female 20-something on phone: Yeah, he realized it was too late when he couldn't tell the difference between the piles of sugar, the piles of flour, and the piles of cocaine. –Central Park

…And Smoke Them on Behalf Of the Recipients

20-something girl to much older date: So do you smoke weed?
Guy: Not so much anymore.
20-something girl: Me either… Not much… I mean, it's been a long time… But I do know this awesome guy on St. Mark's who gives me cheap pipes and has great shit. He always has something new for me.
Guy, after pause: Actually, it sounds like you smoke a lot.
20-something girl, after embarrassed pause: Well… I buy a lot of gifts. –G Train