Archive for the ‘Druggies’ Category

NewsFlash: Crackhead Slain on 2 Train! Film at Eleven.

Crackhead to white girl: I want a little white girl. Okay, a little white lily, she so mad, I want a little white girl, not a black girl, they broke my heart too many times. You think I'm harassing you because you're white and I'm black.
Girl on train: I'm not white, okay? I'm not white, stop looking at me. I don't look remotely white, or Caucasian.
Crackhead: I'm not into fat girls, so I'll look somewhere else. I'm not into fat jokes, just black jokes. You probably think I'm into white guys, not white girls, just call me gay. Are you trying to slip away?
Girl on train: Did he just call me fat? –Downtown 2 Train

I Guess We Travel in Different Circles

Aged cokehead #1: I know that face from somewhere, you look really familiar…
Aged cokehead #2: Yeah, I think I've seen your face somewhere.
Aged cokehead #1: Maybe from the same circle-jerk?
Aged cokehead #2: No, I don't think I've ever done that before. Here's $20 for the wine. –Lexington & 28th St Overheard by: The Wine Girls

Hugs, Not Wednesday One-Liners

20-something to friend: If I didn't do so many drugs, I could probably afford to go skiing and shit like that. –Williamsburg Art school student: If I can stop doing heroin, I can do anything! –Outside School of Visual Arts Tourist guy to tourist friends: Yeah, I remember when he went to school on shrooms, and then he went to the principal and told him that he was on shrooms. –40th St & Madison Ave Overheard by: Bones Jones Father to daughter: Don't say "no" to drugs. Say "no, thank you." –45th St & 5th Ave Blonde Catholic schoolgirl: Maybe after we pop the E we'll roll over to 149th Street. –Q88 Bus

Wednesday One-Liners Just Do It for the Endorphins

Mystified/amused pot dealer, as two jocks jog past him after sunset: They just runnin'! No cops, no robbers, no cowboys, no Indians, nothing blowin' up. They just runnin'! –Washington Square Park Overheard by: innocent bystander Dad to three-year-old boy learning to how to swing: Well, maybe if you were in better shape, this would be easy for you. You need to work on your abdominals. –Rckefeller Park Overheard by: Maria White buff guy, during spin class: I need to do some serious laundry, so I only had the one clean towel. If ya can't get one, I can always just give you mine and do my usual air dry jumping jacks for the insane amount of fems they have in the locker room over there. But apparently I have a bad-case-of-gay-face, because they look at me like a fat kid in front of the tasty delight window. –29th St & Lexington Overheard by: Lace Suit to another: I wish I could bench press the sins of the world! –74th St & Broadway Girl in short skirt and stilettos: Did we just power-strut too far? –PATH

Just Like Les Mis!

40-something hyperactive preppy/golfer tourist: Hey! How's it going?! Where are you from?
40-something regular guy: Seattle. You?
40-something hyperactive preppy/golfer tourist: Newport Beach, California! What are you off to do?
40-something regular guy: Dinner and some drinks with friends. You?
40-something hyperactive preppy/golfer tourist: Me and a buddy are going to take mushrooms and go see Young Frankenstein for the third time! It's hilarious when you're high! –Elevator, Sheraton Hotel