Archive for the ‘Drugs’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Admit Their Lives Have Become Unmanageable

Suit on cell: Never make any decisions after drinking two pitchers of beer. After the first one, I was like "okay, this is what I'm doing." But after the second one, I ended up as director of the D.C. United Way. At first, I wasn't too worried, because I figured they'd give me a drug test, and I knew I wouldn't pass. –6 Train Hopeful-looking guy to concerned-looking guy: Basically, you're not ready to be an alcoholic, so you should stay away from alcohol. –Polk St Girl to guy friend: She's a great drunk. She's probably one of the best people to hang out with when she's drunk. –Pratt Institute Overheard by: T Hawker: It's happy hour! Come on up, and I'll watch your kids while you get drunk. –Planet Hollywood Girl, during lunch: I'm not drunk anymore! –W 4th & University Place

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Wednesday One-Liners (the King James Version)

Cute chick on cell: If the Amish can do it, so can you. [Pause, then louder.] If the Amish can do it, so can you! –113th & Amsterdam Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy Lady on cell: You tell my momma to get her ass to church and stop sinning! –Grand Concourse, 205th St. Overheard by: LSB Black guy to another: Go to the Catholic church, cracka. They got good drugs. –11th & A Middle Eastern man: I believe in Islam and Allah, but I drink, I smoke, and I fuck. When I stop doing those things, then I’ll pray. –C Train Overheard by: Mark Thug: I totally invented the Chuck Norris religion. –Queens Mall Overheard by: LSB

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We’re Losing the War on Wednesday One-Liners

Blonde on cell: It’s not a methadone program! You’re on methadone the whole time while you’re in there, but it’s not a methadone program! –Washington Square Park Overheard by: PNY Frat boy: It’s liquid cocaine, and it’s going to be legal for at least another year! –Lion’s Head Bar, 108th & Amsterdam Dude: You just spray it and then snort it… –33 W 19th Street Overheard by: Uh, I never did it like that.. Man on cell: Man, you’re always high! Remember that construction job? No, of course you don’t — ’cause you were high! –72nd & Broadway Overheard by: Isaiah Tanenbaum Lead singer: I sweat coke at Bikram Yoga. –Crash Mansion Queer on cell: And the one thing I should’ve been buying myself — drugs — he was buying for me. –23rd & 7th Overheard by: MR Attorney on phone: She may smoke pot, but she’s absolutely responsible! –Midtown East Overheard by: Opie

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