Archive for the ‘Drugs’ Category

We’re Losing the War on Wednesday One-Liners

Blonde on cell: It’s not a methadone program! You’re on methadone the whole time while you’re in there, but it’s not a methadone program! –Washington Square Park Overheard by: PNY Frat boy: It’s liquid cocaine, and it’s going to be legal for at least another year! –Lion’s Head Bar, 108th & Amsterdam Dude: You just spray it and then snort it… –33 W 19th Street Overheard by: Uh, I never did it like that.. Man on cell: Man, you’re always high! Remember that construction job? No, of course you don’t — ’cause you were high! –72nd & Broadway Overheard by: Isaiah Tanenbaum Lead singer: I sweat coke at Bikram Yoga. –Crash Mansion Queer on cell: And the one thing I should’ve been buying myself — drugs — he was buying for me. –23rd & 7th Overheard by: MR Attorney on phone: She may smoke pot, but she’s absolutely responsible! –Midtown East Overheard by: Opie

Wednesday One-Liners' Next Stop Is Meth

Man shouting to woman nearby: Yo! You better hurry up. I got you a ride. I'm going straight to the bridge, and I ain't stopping for no crack! –Amsterdam Ave & 92nd St. Overheard by: Dana Girl in dress to friends: And that was the first time I sucked dick for crack… –10th St & Ave A Man to another as he walks away: Don't spend it all in one crackhouse. –SoHo Woman, yelling at man twenty feet ahead: Hey! Don't walk away from me. At least you got crack yesterday! –Broadway & 96th St

Whose Life Is It If You're Not There for It? Discuss.

Well-dressed 20-something woman: So yeah, I keep having sex with all these beautiful women, and then I have no memory of it whatsoever…
Well-dressed 20-something man: You're so lucky. I was roofied once, but my friends were with me the whole time. When I went to the doctor and got blood tests and they found Rohypnol in my system, I was like “and I didn't even fucking get laid?” (pause) That was literally my first reaction. –Bowery & Prince Overheard by: Sealed Beverage Drinker

In Wednesday One-Liners We Trust

Hipster chick: Popping a blister is like smacking god in the face! –Fordham University, Lincoln Center Overheard by: Alice Homeless man on train begging for money by telling jokes: A black man and a white man go into a bar. They get into a fight with each other. And then they die. And then they go to heaven and god says to them: "What it is… what it is!" –1 Train Overheard by: Kristin Girl to friend: I’m gonna have to get ghetto on god! –61st & Broadway Overheard by: lizzerd Homeless man says to homeless woman: Now, these people are trying to hoodwink god! –Seventh Ave & Lincoln Place, Park Slope Overheard by: Annie Professor to students: God is not a drug dealer! –Fordham University

Undercover DEA Wednesday One-Liners

Guy on cell: I’m in a… Oh, what’s the word I’m looking for? … Crack-infested neighborhood. –9th & 26th, Queens Overheard by: B. D. Disheveled punk teen girl: No! My 72-hour drug binge is starting now! –14th & University Overheard by: rachel Crazy lady: … So I hung the crack pipe on the cross which gave me the right to say no to drugs… Hallelujah! –2 train Overheard by: with a K Suit on cell: Yeah, I talked to him the other day. Right? I think he turned gay. Or he had a drug abuse problem. –LIRR Overheard by: Nick Lady: I’m ready to yodel! Do I smell hashish?! –Central Park SummerStage Fiction professor: I would find writing about investment bankers very difficult because I find them boring when I meet them. I start to like them when they start snorting coke. Then their dialogue becomes much more interesting. –The New School Middle-aged lady on cell: I need to start sniffing more glue. –Upper West Side Overheard by: Amy Jill

Wednesday One-liners Wanna Get High

Goth boy: Either I just saw Gollum eating sushi off of Rose Cotton’s naked body, or I am coked up to the gills! –E train Overheard by: Biff Largemeats Chick: Ya know, I gotta say, you really do need to take drugs to be interesting. ‘Cuase without ’em, you’re really boring. –Rue B, Avenue B Overheard by: Lisa Ramaci Guy: I can’t do acid but I can do shrooms. Especially shroom tea. –Houston & Essex Overheard by: Joel Artsy girl: It’s made me so much more creative, and that’s, like, so much more important for my art than anything else. And the buzz is great, too. –14th & 5th Guy: Oh I always have a Metrocard on me…they’re great for cutting up coke. –Astor Place station Chick: It’s not like there’s a moral high ground when it comes to methadone. –Carroll Gardens Overheard by: Sara Beane Girl on cell: I know, that’s the worst! You have to try that towel-on-the-floor thing, and that never works. –18th & 5th Overheard by: jaykayess