Archive for the ‘Drunks’ Category

Why Plumbers Usually Have Offices in Chelsea

Drunk chick #1: You know, you were totally right. I come so much harder from anal!
Drunk chick #2: See! I told you it was the best. Except… Well… I told you about that one problem.
Drunk chick #1: Yeah, I know. Now I take the most enormous shits ever!

A gay couple is standing a few feet away, laughing hysterically.

Queer: Oh, honey, you’re preaching to the choir out here.

–Crobar, W 27th St

An Amuse-Bouche Douche

Drunk middle aged lady: Aww, love is great…you and your boyfriend are such a cute couple.
Chick: Oh, that guy? He's not my boyfriend. I'm just sleeping with him.
Drunk middle aged lady (laughing): Really? Good for you, he's cute. Well, maybe it'll turn into something more?
Chick: Oh, god no! He's an asshole…but he's amazing in bed and he's fun company… He's like a vibrator that makes appetizers.

–White Horse Tavern

Overheard by: the birthday girl