Man: …I’m saying, you’ve passed out, and then the cat eats you. So just don’t pass out. –1 Train Overheard by: Dan Dickinson Drunk woman: …so I had the 6 pounds of meat for the meatloaf and I’m stirring. It was for like 15 people–I had the whole family over–and I turn away for one minute. I came back to find my daughter stirring it, but she had poured in Meow Mix cat food. So me and my mother start picking the cat food out (it was the seafood flavored one) but there was too much in it. So I just put it in the oven, and while everyone was eating it I kept singing the Meow Mix song under my breath. My sister-in-law and mother-in-law asked for the recipe afterwards. –LIRR to Penn Station Overheard by: Jax
Drunk Suit #1: You do realize that we’re going to jail for this, right?
Drunk Suit #2: Yeah, I know.
Drunk Suit #1: I mean, Powers is dead! –Dock’s Oyster Bar, 40th & 3rd Overheard by: Greg Rutter
Six drunks are standing around on the corner.
Woman: Now in German!
Drunks: Stille nacht, heilige nacht… –St. Mark’s & 1st Ave Overheard by: Jamie Wisneski & Megan
Drunk Guy: That girl’s tits are huge! And it’s snowing! –Fordham A man on a tandem bicycle turns to the woman on it and says: You know, it’s remarkable just how much like weddings funerals actually are. –Varick Street Overheard by: Sparkle Shortz
Yuppie #1: I really want a drink
Drunk Homeless man (to Yuppie #2): What are you reading?
Yuppie #2: I’m reading a book on sobriety.
Drunk Homeless man (looking over her shoulder): Oh
Yuppie #2: Yes, it’s also about drug additions..valium, etc.
Drunk Homeless man: Really that’s interesting – Union Square Park
Girl: I can’t, like, believe I’m in this, like, fucking crazy, weird AA subculture! –25th and 3rd Overheard by: Megan Buckley
Drunk guy: You're not looking too good, are you okay to drive?
Drunk guy: Those officers can suck my dick.
Drunk girl: Those officers will not suck your dick, and they never will.
–W 238th & Waldo Ave
Drunk girl with tinsel in her hair: Alright, so why is in my history that it says "thehugestcock.com"?
–Starbucks, Sheridan Square
Drunk guy: The Amazins? Fuck them! The only amazin' thing about them is they never fucking win…
–Downtown 6 Train
Drunk man at 1:30 am: Vagina bar!
–49th St, Astoria
Drunk girlfriend to even drunker boyfriend: Ohmigod! I have to get up in five hours and teach!
Drunk brunette #1 to cop: We're what you call us… Badge bangers!
Drunk brunette #2: Yeah!
–Canal & Centre
Overheard by: Tits McGhee
Drunk teenage girl, yelling: Just so all of you guys know, I am underage! (long pause, then to friend) Shit, I just told them we are underage! (long pause, then to woman) Hey, you! I love your hair!