Into an intercom, a drunk girl yells: I know you don’t want to see me, but I’m downstairs! –Avenue A & 3rd Street Overheard by: Sebastian Forsythe
Drunken passenger: Someone farted up in here. Shit smell like AIDS, man. –W Train
Drunk Skank #1: …cause that’s what we’re celebrating.
Drunk Skank #2: What’re we celebrating?
Drunk Skank #1: The Bush/Cheney thing.
Drunk Skank #2: Oh yeah! –49th and Broadway Overheard by: Anne C.
Drunk Girl: Ha ha, I’m talking so loud. I’m making such ear pollution.
Drunk Guy: Nooo, it’s called noise pollution…
Drunk Girl: But like, what is noise pollution?
Drunk Guy: I dunno…I think it’s like when you’re vulgar, so I try not to curse all the time. That way, when I say like “oh fuck” everyone will be all like “Whoaaaaaa.” –NYU Dorm Elevator Overheard by: Stephanie
Drunk Claire: Steph, we’ve been best friends for, like, 15 years now. You are like, totally my very best friend, but I wish you could, like, make more time for me, you know? Like, I know you have your grandmother’s party coming up and all–
Drunk Steph: Claire, my grandmother died 4 years ago. –West Village
Guy: Of course I’ve drank kerosene. But it wasn’t like I used a cup, though. I used a siphon. –Astoria Overheard by: Stephie Russell
Drunk Girl: I’m really glad you made it out tonight.
Sober Guy: I’m really glad you’re going home. He closes her cab door and walks away. –Bleecker St. Overheard by: Stephie Russell
A drunk guy picks up an abandoned bouquet of roses. Lush: 74. 1980. 84. Ronald Reagan. Ronald Reagan. George Bush. Bill Clinton. These roses should go to a sweetheart. I have no sweetheart. Not now. But they’ll get to a sweetheart. They’ve been neglected. Put them in some water, they’ll come back to life. New York is something else, right? –D Train
Man: …I’m saying, you’ve passed out, and then the cat eats you. So just don’t pass out. –1 Train Overheard by: Dan Dickinson Drunk woman: …so I had the 6 pounds of meat for the meatloaf and I’m stirring. It was for like 15 people–I had the whole family over–and I turn away for one minute. I came back to find my daughter stirring it, but she had poured in Meow Mix cat food. So me and my mother start picking the cat food out (it was the seafood flavored one) but there was too much in it. So I just put it in the oven, and while everyone was eating it I kept singing the Meow Mix song under my breath. My sister-in-law and mother-in-law asked for the recipe afterwards. –LIRR to Penn Station Overheard by: Jax
Drunk Suit #1: You do realize that we’re going to jail for this, right?
Drunk Suit #2: Yeah, I know.
Drunk Suit #1: I mean, Powers is dead! –Dock’s Oyster Bar, 40th & 3rd Overheard by: Greg Rutter