Guy on cell: I’m going to kill you, and it’s going to hurt. You know that, right?…I’m not talking shit! –Duane Reade, 44th & 5th
Archive for the ‘Duane Reade’ Category
The Chorus to a Terrible Song
Woman #1: Are you going to be here for Christmas?
Woman #2: Yah.
Woman #1: For Thanksgiving?
Woman #2: Yah.
Woman #1: For–
Woman #2: Yah.
Woman #1: For–
Woman #2: Yah.
–Duane Reade, Greenwich Village
Wednesday One-Liners: Glug Glug Glug, Ahh!
NYU student to another: I haven't been drinking as much since I turned 21.
–Duane Reade
Overheard by: Rogelio
College girl to friend: I wasn't drunk, I was just cheerful.
–Canal St & Mott St
20-something girl on cell: He was drunk and fucking his demon ex-girlfriend.
–181 & Ft. Washington
Guy in dirty army clothes to another: I was still drunk, thank god Dunkin' Donuts was open.
–D Train
Middle aged guy on cell: That's what happens when you drink, motherfucker! You can't remember shit!
–Brooklyn
Overheard by: Aron
Thanks to the Hypnotic Rhythm Of Our Argument
Woman in line at Duane Reade: I drank your water, um, that bottle of bottled water?
Boyfriend: The one with the vodka in it?
Woman: Yeah, and it, um, tasted funny. I had to lie down.
Boyfriend: Are you going to apologize?
Woman: No.
Boyfriend: Are you going to apologize?
Woman: No.
Boyfriend: Are you going to apologize?
Woman: No. You should have come to bed.
Boyfriend: I did. You were asleep.
–59th St & 10th Ave
Overheard by: Tanker
Without Peer Pressure, the Fashion Industry Would Soon Collapse
Girl #1: I kind of just wanna wear what I wore last night.
Girl #2: I mean, we didn't take any pictures.
Girls standing nearby: Dirtyyyyyyyyy.
–Duane Reade
Wednesday One-Liners for Kendra
Young lady: Stupid people have more fun!
–Chrystie & Housten
Overheard by: Probably True…
Middle age woman to young woman pushing stroller: Well, this is a stupid place for a stroller!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Would the street be safer?
Oversized hip-hop boyfriend to undersized girlfriend: I'm being stupid for your benefit.
–Duane Reade
Woman buying ibuprofen: It's not a virus. My mother's got a headache from everyone being stupid.
–Inwood
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Girl smoking on the sidewalk to smoking friend: He's perfect. Except that he's kind of dumb. But he's perfect!
–34th St & Madison Ave
Overheard by: Katface
“Bigger Breasts for Everyone!” Fared Poorly During Test Marketing
Tourist #1: Do you know what Edamame means?
Tourist #2: No!
Tourist #1: It's just a made-up fancy word for “soy bean” so people would buy it.
–Duade Reade
Overheard by: Sara
Well They Are Going to Be Quotes from No Exit
Teen girl to girl friend: Hey, when are we getting our matching tattoos?
Guy friend to another: She's so serious.
–Duane Reade
Neo, What Do You Think?
Cashier: Do you have a Duane Reade card?
Girl, fishing through purse: Yeah… Where are we, Duane Reade?
–Duane Reade
Overheard by: Guy next in line
It's Called “Crabs”
Checkout guy: I want to get laid too.
Drunk blonde: It's okay. I already got laid. Do you think you can pass lays? Like transfer them?
–Duane Reade, Morningside Heights
Overheard by: maggie