Archive for the ‘Duane Reade’ Category

Is ‘Oxycodone’ with an ‘I’ or a ‘Y’?

Lady suit: I can’t keep coming here to get my prescription filled. They’re beginning to recognize me.
Suit: So what?
Lady suit: So, what if I get in trouble?
Suit: Why would you get in trouble? You have a prescription from a doctor.
Lady suit: If you say so. Oh, shit, I forgot to put the date on this. –Duane Reade, 89th & Columbus Overheard by: Veronica at http://everythingisused.blogspot.com/

This Is a Drawing of a Teapot, Ma’am

Pharmacist, coming out from behind counter: So how can I help you?
British tourish: Well, I have a headache and a bit of a sore throat and [pulls out piece of paper, shows to pharmacist] I am not sure, but I think this is illegal in the United States. –Duane Reade, 47th & Lexington Overheard by: EthanK

Wednesday One-Liners Eat Boogers

Man on cell: It's a swollen, pus-filled sebaceous cyst… –Nathan's, West 32nd St Overheard by: SuzeV Chick leaving Duane Reade (exposing armpit): Air it out baby, air it out! –Duane Reade, 14th & 1st Overheard by: Lillian Guy to friends: I'm just gonna rub my shit all over her face. All over! –96th and Broadway Fat girl on cell: Oh my god, seriously. My mom is *so* nasty whenever we go out to eat somewhere. I'm not kidding. Like, she is *never* happy where we get seated, and she's like, "This silverware is smudgy! This glass has grit in it! The lighting is awful! The tectonic plates of this location are shifting, I demand a patio table!" I try to be as nice as I can to the wait staff to make up for her. Seriously. I've seen waiting. Please don't shave your asscrack hair into my food because my mom was a douchenozzle. –jet blue terminal, jfk Overheard by: now questioning my pizza ingredients Girl on cell: Yeah, you pretty much have the same body functions when you're dead as when you're alive. It's gross, but I love it. –Mercer b/w 3rd & 4th Overheard by: Threw up in my mouth a little bit

Wednesday One-Liners Expand Their Fecabulary

Cyclist: So he was all, "my shit is your shit," and I thought, "that's the most romantic thing I've heard." –Central Park Dude on cell, checking out sunblock: They don't have shit here. SPF 15 is too high! –Duane Reade, Flushing Toddler that dropped his toy: Oh, shit! –7th Ave, Park Slope 10-year-old boy to friend: That was like the first time I ever took a shit in a public bathroom. –2nd Ave & 9th St Man in baggy jeans walking with gusto: Oh, yes, oh yeah. She wanted my shiiit… She wanted my shit! –6 Train Chick to friends: He is totally going to shit a tampon! –84th St & Amsterdam