Archive for the ‘e-Bay’ Category

Wednesdays Floss After Every One-Liner

Asian girl on cell: Yeah… or I could just knock her teeth out and sell them on eBay or something. –Chelsea Market Overheard by: Alyssa Girl on cell: And out of nowhere dude a goddamn peacock feather hit me in the teeth! –Starbucks, 8th & 39th Old man: I can smell my own tooth decay! –Times Square Overheard by: One Liners Are The Best Lady on cell: I don't know what to do. I'm like nervous… I know… I haven't bought toothpaste in years… –Duane Reade Guy on phone: The difference between you and me is you drink tea and eat tofu. I drink whiskey and make people eat their teeth. –48th & 5th Ave Overheard by: Rebecca

Wednesday One-Liners Wear Heels in Bed

Obnoxious NYU student on phone: Hey, remember that cute boy in my chemistry class I was telling you about? Well, I totally just saw him in a gay porno! –Study Room, NYU Dorm Overheard by: NYU Ears Patient woman: She's making friends with an old porn star, leave her alone! –2nd Ave b/w 50th & 51st Overheard by: sab Cranky suit to nodding friend: Except for porn and eBay, no one knows how to make money anymore! –Madison Ave & 47th St Overheard by: kricka Girl to friend: This would be a great place to shoot a porno. –Downstairs Bar, Morimoto Restaurant iPhone screamer: Yeah, just take the exec-u-table file and put it in the folder. Right the exec-u-table file! I know, the music is funny, like a porno, right? –33rd St b/w 5th & 6th Chick: You *know* we're all going to be googling "eggbeater porn" before the night is over. –Party, 171st & Broadway Overheard by: Ladle

If You Buy Thom Yorke, You Get Stuck With a Radiohead Album

Girl: Dude, good think Thom Yorke is a great musician, because that guy looks like my dog's ass.
Guy: If your dog's ass looks like Thom Yorke, I suggest you put that dog up for sale.
Girl: I would never sell my dog!
Guy: I would sell my dog on eBay in a heartbeat.
Girl: You can't sell animals on eBay.
Guy: I would sell my dog's leash and throw in the dog for free. –Fordham Ram Van Overheard by: sromeo

Congratulations — You Have Successfully Befriended Wednesday One-Liners

Man: I don’t really use Facebook anymore… Except to booty-call poke. –Starbucks, 6th Ave Chick: If I die, I don’t want a Facebook group in my memory. It’s tacky. –Broadway & Waverly Overheard by: Sarah Web guy: I’d say my mouse hand is ‘strong’ to ‘very strong.’ –46th & 6th German man to another: [Rambles in German, then] EBay is sin! A sin, I tell you! –H&M, 34th St Overheard by: Melissa Coppola Math teacher who looks like Ali G: So, I took a ‘How ghetto are you?’ quiz on Facebook. Turns out I’m only 61 percent ghetto. –Bronx Science Thug to thugette: Fall back — you never know when people gonna be postin’ what you said on the Internet. –Astor Pl Overheard by: katattack