Girl: Someone just needs to push him off the gay cliff, ‘cuz he’s not jumpin! –Varick &Vandam Ghetto girl: I seen Whoopie Goldberg’s daughter! She a lesbian, light-skinned, and she bad! –9th Ave & 16th St Overheard by: david hyman Darrell Hammond: It’s only queer if you’re on the bottom. –Fordham Overheard by: Jess McGins Angry man on cell: This is exactly why I don’t date bisexual guys! –3rd Ave & 9th St Girl on cell: I still don’t get why you dumped him. Just ’cause you’re a lesbian and he’s got that thing for unicorns doesn’t mean you wouldn’t have been cute together. –2nd & A Thug: So I was eating that bitch out, and yo, yo, she told me that she was a lez…A lesbian yo! A lesbian! –Manhattan Ave & 103rd St Overheard by: Carol – walking slowly so as to hear the rest Queer: My friend Carol has been dating gay guys for years and fails to realize it until it’s too late! –Jamaica Ave and 150th St Overheard by: Rodney-Rod
Drunk guy: Excuse me, Miss, I’m askin’… I want to kiss your ass! Just the left cheek! –8th Ave & W 55th St Overheard by: Fred Daubert Canadian guy: The first kiss’ll be at the altar. –Uptown 6 train Loudmouth on cell: Yeah man, and then, like, I was kissing her, and then I like, just started dancing with her. We were dancing, man. And then I picked her up, and she beat the crap out of me, and I had to put her down. Yeah, man. But she was a fuckin’ awesome kisser. –NYU Overheard by: lucy in the sky with diamonds Girl on cell: I can’t remember the last time we kissed on the mouth, can you? –43rd & Lex Ghetto chick leaving after fight with boyfriend: Kiss my ass. No, kiss my pussy while it’s bleeding, like you used to. –Washington Heights Girl on cell: He said he wouldn’t leave until I kissed him… so I kissed him while I was on the toilet! –115th St & Manhattan Ave Overheard by: Melissa Berry
Flamboyantly gay guy to gay friends: Why do I have to be the queen? Why can’t I just be regular?!
Overheard by: JMcheer
Queer to another: I just want to bury my face in his ass!
–67th & Park Ave
Gay guy on cell: Oooh! I love playing straight!
–1st Ave, East Village
Overheard by: B
Stressed gay worker: They always skip over my lunch break. Everyone else gets their lunch breaks but they always skip over mine. Ugh. Guys, I’m gonna take my 15 minutes. I’m taking my 15 minutes. I close tonight… Ugh, this is not the road to success! (storms off)
Overheard by: nyu kid
Queer to boyfriend: You know Romy and Michelle? I love that movie… That movie made me gay.
–Restaurant, 19th & 8th
Overheard by: batou187
Queer on cell: I know… I know! Gosh, that is sooo gay!
(bewildered elderly lady looks at him)
Queer to elderly lady (in shrieking voice): Oh my god, oh my god, the faggot said gay! –Central Park
Girl #1: I’d totally teabag him! Wait, what’s the female equivalent of teabag?
Girls #2 & #3: Hmmm…
Queer #1: I dunno — what do you call it when someone dangles lunch meat in your face?
Queer #2: Roast beef curtains?
Queer #1: No, no, wait! It’s a cold cut swipe!
Everyone: Ewww! –JFK Overheard by: K to tha B
Teen boy #1: Yo, pussy!
Teen boy #2: You just called me a pussy?
Teen boy #1: You are what you eat! –Astor Place Overheard by: Jenya
Southern woman on phone: You can’t threaten me with jail! Three hots and a cot, I ain’t nobody’s momma, and I ain’t nobody’s wife! And I ain’t above eating pussy! –A train
Old man #1: Man, that’s nasty.
Old man #2: Why do you say that? You don’t like to orally please your woman?
Old man #1: Man, I am afraid of getting AIDS in my teeth. –51st & 5th
Woman #1: I thought you loved me — didn’t last night mean anything to you?
Woman #2: I do love you, that’s why I let you swallow my babies. –43rd & 8th Overheard by: Elan
Hipster girl to another: Yeah, everyone has a crush on him, but he’s got halitosis. And a concave chest! –MoMA Hipster chick to friend: Whoa. I just felt totally suffocated by capitalist society. –NYU Hipster in rainbow moonboots: So I say to this girl as I’m roofie-ing her juice box… –Union Square Overheard by: eliza Hipster chick on cell: Hello? Hey! Guess what? I found my underwear! –1st Ave Overheard by: Aria Grillo Hipster: I mean, you can’t just rock a sombrero and think that it’s cool. –6th & 10th Overheard by: El Hipster chick to tourist friends: … And across the street is where Albert Greenberg lived for a while. –E 2nd St, across street from Allen Ginsberg’s former walkup Overheard by: midtown_strangler Hipster chick: I wanna create a website: Nine-Eleven — get over it. –4 train Overheard by: Hurtz donit
Guy #1: Dude, I really want crab salad.
Guy #2: Okay.
Guy #1: I really want some crab salad. It’s only five forty-nine per pound here! I think Im going to get a pound. I really want crab salad.
Guy #2: Dude, why don’t you just eat out Ada? –Deli, Broadway between 10th & 11th Overheard by: tina t lin