Archive for the ‘Eating Out’ Category

Not That There’s Anything Wrong With Wednesday-One-Liners

Girl: Someone just needs to push him off the gay cliff, ‘cuz he’s not jumpin! –Varick &Vandam Ghetto girl: I seen Whoopie Goldberg’s daughter! She a lesbian, light-skinned, and she bad! –9th Ave & 16th St Overheard by: david hyman Darrell Hammond: It’s only queer if you’re on the bottom. –Fordham Overheard by: Jess McGins Angry man on cell: This is exactly why I don’t date bisexual guys! –3rd Ave & 9th St Girl on cell: I still don’t get why you dumped him. Just ’cause you’re a lesbian and he’s got that thing for unicorns doesn’t mean you wouldn’t have been cute together. –2nd & A Thug: So I was eating that bitch out, and yo, yo, she told me that she was a lez…A lesbian yo! A lesbian! –Manhattan Ave & 103rd St Overheard by: Carol – walking slowly so as to hear the rest Queer: My friend Carol has been dating gay guys for years and fails to realize it until it’s too late! –Jamaica Ave and 150th St Overheard by: Rodney-Rod

Hey, Kiss My Wednesday One-Liners

Drunk guy: Excuse me, Miss, I’m askin’… I want to kiss your ass! Just the left cheek! –8th Ave & W 55th St Overheard by: Fred Daubert Canadian guy: The first kiss’ll be at the altar. –Uptown 6 train Loudmouth on cell: Yeah man, and then, like, I was kissing her, and then I like, just started dancing with her. We were dancing, man. And then I picked her up, and she beat the crap out of me, and I had to put her down. Yeah, man. But she was a fuckin’ awesome kisser. –NYU Overheard by: lucy in the sky with diamonds Girl on cell: I can’t remember the last time we kissed on the mouth, can you? –43rd & Lex Ghetto chick leaving after fight with boyfriend: Kiss my ass. No, kiss my pussy while it’s bleeding, like you used to. –Washington Heights Girl on cell: He said he wouldn’t leave until I kissed him… so I kissed him while I was on the toilet! –115th St & Manhattan Ave Overheard by: Melissa Berry

Wednesday One-Liners Feel Pretty and Witty and Gay

Flamboyantly gay guy to gay friends: Why do I have to be the queen? Why can’t I just be regular?! –Christopher Street Overheard by: JMcheer Queer to another: I just want to bury my face in his ass! –67th & Park Ave Gay guy on cell: Oooh! I love playing straight! –1st Ave, East Village Overheard by: B Stressed gay worker: They always skip over my lunch break. Everyone else gets their lunch breaks but they always skip over mine. Ugh. Guys, I’m gonna take my 15 minutes. I’m taking my 15 minutes. I close tonight… Ugh, this is not the road to success! (storms off) –H&M Store Overheard by: nyu kid Queer to boyfriend: You know Romy and Michelle? I love that movie… That movie made me gay. –Restaurant, 19th & 8th Overheard by: batou187 Queer on cell: I know… I know! Gosh, that is sooo gay!
(bewildered elderly lady looks at him)
Queer to elderly lady (in shrieking voice): Oh my god, oh my god, the faggot said gay! –Central Park

Wednesday One-Liners with Two Percent Body Fat

Hipster girl to another: Yeah, everyone has a crush on him, but he’s got halitosis. And a concave chest! –MoMA Hipster chick to friend: Whoa. I just felt totally suffocated by capitalist society. –NYU Hipster in rainbow moonboots: So I say to this girl as I’m roofie-ing her juice box… –Union Square Overheard by: eliza Hipster chick on cell: Hello? Hey! Guess what? I found my underwear! –1st Ave Overheard by: Aria Grillo Hipster: I mean, you can’t just rock a sombrero and think that it’s cool. –6th & 10th Overheard by: El Hipster chick to tourist friends: … And across the street is where Albert Greenberg lived for a while. –E 2nd St, across street from Allen Ginsberg’s former walkup Overheard by: midtown_strangler Hipster chick: I wanna create a website: Nine-Eleven — get over it. –4 train Overheard by: Hurtz donit