Archive for the ‘Eating Out’ Category

According to My Life-Coach

Black guy: You know what I need to do? I need to eat yo’ pussy on the train. I got head three times on the train already.
Girlfriend: Shhh!
Black guy: That’s what I need to do. I need to eat yo’ pussy on the train.

–F train

Overheard by: Jofo

They’re Like Garbagemen

Black girl: So, she told me that she was into pussy and asked if I was, and I’m like, ‘Ew, hell no!’ That’s just gross. I don’t want to look at that. Vaginas are just nasty. Don’t want to put my mouth on that shit.
Friend: Why not? Guys do all the time.
Black girl: Whatever — that’s their job. Haha, it’s what they get.

–A train

Wednesday One-Liners Talk with Their Mouths Full

Angry lady to boyfriend: They don’t pay my fucking rent! They don’t eat my fucking pussy!

–E 9th & 5th

Man on cell: It comes down to about seven dollars a blowjob.

–59th & 5th

Wheelbo, politely: Excuse me, does the bus stop here? [Ignored, so addresses next passerby politely] Pardon me, ma’am? Are you looking for a dick to suck?

–42nd & Madison

Overheard by: No, I am not.

SVA photography teacher: You’d have a better time giving head to King Kong than using this method.

–SVA, 21st & 3rd

Overheard by: student

Kid on cell: … So I said, ‘You can suck my dick for some of your spaghetti.’

–Outside hardware store, 102nd & Broadway

Overheard by: Josh

Dude: If I could’ve gone down on a donkey I would have done it.

–W New York hotel, Union Square

17-year-old girl on cell: So, this girl was eating me out, right? [Pause] Oh, sorry, I have the wrong number.

–Starbucks, Union Square West