Archive for the ‘Education’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Use the Socratic Method

Columbia grad student: …developing a really spectacular
sense of intellectual arrogance. –Columbia University Professor, receiving text message in class: Ooh. That’s interesting. Invitation to go dancing, not from my girlfriend. Thank God I’ve got permission… We’re never going to get to anything today, are we? I’m so bad at this… –Tisch School of the Arts, NYU Overheard by: Matthew K Johnson Chinese professor: You see Chinese like tofu, you never use it. –John Jay College Overheard by: soccerking3t Teen guy: So I ended up in a dress. I don’t think English class will ever be the same. –Stuyvesant High School Overheard by: Natasha Sadistic professor: Unfortunately we don’t flog people anymore. You usually pass out after you finish screaming. –Fordham, the Bronx Overheard by: Jess McGins Drunken pre-med to drunken boy teetering on a concrete railing: Reed, if you fall, I’m not a doctor yet! –West Village, 8th & 14th Overheard by: annie NYU girl to professor: So, if you’re sleeping with Nietzsche, you shouldn’t ask the question, "What are you thinking?" –NYU classroom, Mercer & Houston

If Our Society Has Learned Nothing Else from “Total Request Live”, It's That.

Teacher: What's going on, guys? Why are your test scores so low?
Emotional girl: Well, there's just so much homework and you want to do it all, but you also want to really understand the material and there's just so much of it, and it's just so hard and … (squeals loudly)
Girl next to her: Nothing to express teenage angst like a good squeal. –Bard High School, Queens Overheard by: Sunny

The Village Bicycle’s Wednesday One-Liners

Girl on cell: So I asked my doorman if I brought anyone home with me last night and he said he didn’t know! I told him it’s his job to know! –Outside 145th subway station Hipster girl: Santa is a man whore! –45th & 8th College girl: And then we’re having what I thought was a nice one night stand, and then, he’s all like "what are you doing?" –Washington Square Park Overheard by: silvver Indian girl: I need to up my sex number. I either wanna sleep with a professor or a celebrity. (long pause) Wait! Professors are like celebrities! –72nd and Amsterdam Overheard by: Vincent Teen girl to friend: … And then my mom said to me "don’t be a ho." –Union Square Overheard by: Lotte Girl: She is such a fuckin’ slut. (Pause, then indignantly) How you gonna sleep with someone for four dollars? –Bergen and Smith

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NYU girl #1: What the hell is the professor talking about? We can't use the internet to do research?
NYU girl #2: She doesn't know what she's talking about.
NYU girl #1: I mean, an article in The New York Times is totally an academic resource, even if I look at it on their web page. Does she think The New York Times isn't right?
NYU girl #2: Yeah, fuck her!
NYU girl #1: I also cited the bible in my paper, but that's totally an academic source. –Waverly Place