Little girl: Keep your legs closed and your books open. My mommy says a girl can get a boyfriend and then she has to drop out of school. –uptown A train Woman: I ain’t gonna take that shit, a’ight! I’m gonna fuck that nigga ’til a nigga come outta me, a’ight! –38th between 5th & 6th Overheard by: Not That Nigga
Banker guy: I hope you have bail money.
Bouncer guy: Fuck you.
Manager guy: What’s the problem here?
Banker guy: He shoved me.
Manager guy: I don’t know anything about that, but you didn’t bring ID.
Banker guy: I have my Dartmouth ID and my Goldman Sachs ID. –outside Brass Monkey, Little West 12th Street Overheard by: pb dot c
Student #1, handing over essay: Here, read my paper.
Student #2: Oh my god, is that blood?!
Student #1: No that's… (pause) Oh, no, wait… Yeah, that is blood.
Prof: A noun is a person, place or thing. Can someone give me a noun? William?
William: How ’bout…motherfucker?
Prof: That could be a noun, but also a verb or even an adjective… –BMCC Overheard by: Professor
Little boy, pointing at polar bear decal: Cat!
Nanny: That's right.
Little boy, point to same decal: Dog!
Nanny: That's right.
Suit: Did they tip their 45s to their homies?
Overheard by: SuperVixen
Suit on phone: 500 milligrams? That's nothing. First, you need to start looking at the definition of possession…
–Broadway & Reade
Suit to little son: I need to teach you the difference between "homos" and "hobos." You'll understand easily, (giggles) …not much of a difference.
–Doctor's Office, Carrol Gardens
Suit on phone, snickering: Your posts are turd sandwiches!
–4th Ave & 13th St
Overheard by: ris
Suit on cell: I say go for it. You're rich, she's hungry. What could be more perfect?
–47th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Adrienne
Employee: Ma’am, can I help you?
Woman: I’d like a half dozen of your chocolate chip cookies.
Employee: We only sell them, like, 1, 2, 3…
Woman to friend: Is she serious?
Friend: She’ll take 6.
–Starbucks, Rockefeller Center Concourse
All beauty, no brains brunette: No, John, he's not all the way black, his mom is white and his dad is black. He's just like 1/16th black, or whatever that comes out to.
John: Dude, really? I take it math wasn't your strong point in school.
Overheard by: Sky
Little kid: I'm the highest reader in my class!
Dad's friend: What, are all the kids in your class Chinese?
–The Great Lawn
Overheard by: Mariah
Tutor: So did you understand the story you read for homework?
Girl student: The first time I read it, I didn't understand it. But the second time, I was mad fucking high, and I got it.
–Oriental Boulevard, Brooklyn