Archive for the ‘Education’ Category

There Are a Lot of Job Openings in the Masturbatory Arts

Friend’s mom: So, Michelle said you just graduated. What is your degree in, Jessica?
Recent grad: I did! My major was Psychology, but I have a minor in Sex. Well, they call it ‘Sexual Studies.’
Friend’s mom: That’s great. Do you plan on teaching with it or…?
Recent grad: I could teach sex-ed, but I want to do something hands-on. –Starbucks, Union Square Overheard by: Melissa H.

Shall We Consult Our Biology Textbooks?

Guy, looking at historic buildings: This is the kind of thing they should have taught us in school.
Girl: Yeah, there's a lot of things that schools didn't teach us.
Guy: I think a bug just flew into my nose.
Girl: What?
Guy: It's squirming around in there. It's really uncomfortable. I don't know what to do about it. –Governor's Island Overheard by: Kevin

Wednesday One-Liners Support a Woman's Right to Shoes

Dude looking at girl shoes: If I were a chick I'd wear the ugliest shoes, I swear. –5th Ave Woman on phone call with son's teacher: I know he's in the big boy group, but if you see he put his shoes on the wrong feet again, could you just let him know, please? –57th St & Madison Four-year-old girl: My toes are in my shoes! –Bus Overheard by: vcstr Girl, with pride: I can't get laid in this town without these pointy fucking shoes. My feet are so black and blue, and so are you! –F Train Overheard by: Ofelia Hiney Gay guy to friend: Oh, c'mon, at its best, The Wizard of Oz is just a story about two women fighting over a pair of shoes. –Times Square Overheard by: Paul N.