British bitch on cell: I’m surrounded by fucking morons who probably struggled through the NYC school system. We all know New Yorkers are the dumbest. They can’t even read. They haven’t had a Latin education and they probably can’t even speak another language…I didn’t want to get a limo to take to the fuckin’ ghettos of Brooklyn. I didn’t want to take a cab because these uneducated people don’t understand directions. I didn’t want to spend $30 and not get to the right place…Please make sure my car gets fixed. I’ve been reduced to the humiliation of taking public transportation. Now the second part of my fucking nightmare begins. I have to take the subway! I’m dressed like a commoner. I didn’t want to wear a $5000 Chanel suit on a seat that hasn’t been cleaned…She’s letting us borrow her castle for our wedding. If they can’t afford to be there, they obviously don’t deserve to come. –Staten Island Ferry Overheard by: Christine
Girl #1: Well, college is different, because you're on your own, but in a very structured environment.
Girl #2: Did I tell you about the pancakes?
Woman: When I got into college I entered into a world of sausage.
Woman: Come on!
Overheard by: pop pop
Student taking exam: Mr. F, sir, I really don’t understand this.
Mr. F: See your ass in summer school, nigga!
Student taking exam: I’m sorry, what?
Mr. F: So, that’s not cool anymore?
Artsy hipster girl: Oh my god, I haven’t seen you in so long!
Woman: What’s new?
Artsy hipster girl: I’m going to circus school in two weeks!
Girl, after writing essay: You know how she asked us to write what we thought?
Girl: I put down that I needed to blow my nose.
Girl #1: What’s the plural of “panini”?
Girl #2: It’s just “panini” … Like goose.
–28th & 2nd
Latina #1: So, this professor went to Yale and shit and he, like, expects us to be Yale material.
Latina #2: I know, I be hatin’ that.
–Locker room, Hunter College
Overheard by: embarrassed to go here
Local: Where you do want to go today, Mom?
Tourist mom: I don’t know. A museum?
Local: We always go to a museum when you visit. Let’s try a new one this time. We haven’t been to the Guggenheim. The Museum of Sex is interesting.
Tourist mom: Museum of what? Museum of Sex? They have that here?! Please tell me you don’t go there. Do you go to church these days? Hmmm? Do they have churches in this city?!
–Union Square Park
Tour guide trying to attract tourists: Hello! Great bus ride for tourists, only $30!
Girl: I'm not a tourist, I'm a student at Fordham.
Tour guide: Fordham's in England, you dumb bitch.