Art teacher: Now you are true students of FIT! Nobody listens to directions! –FIT
Nerd: They should have an alphabet bar… You know, where they sell you alphabets.
Girl: Wow, are you the new freak on the gymnastics team? –Bronx Science Gymnastics Team Overheard by: LSb
Eight-year-old ghetto kid: Mama, give me your cell phone! I gotta call my girlfriend.
Mother: What you gonna talk to her about? How you can't read and write? Tell her to help you with that! –Harlem Overheard by: Joe
Grad student: It’s like Hogwarts. Witches go to Hogwarts. They don’t go to Harvard Witch Management. –Think Coffee, Mercer & W 4th Overheard by: this analogy makes no sense German dude to other German dude, in rapid German: Voldemort! And Dumbledore! –96th & Broadway Overheard by: LeLeLe Teen girl: He said that Dumbledore takes it up the ass. Seriously. –1 train Overheard by: Silverhawk High school thug girl: Yo dead ass, Harry Potter is hot. –Houston & Green Overheard by: chedr Perverted tween: I wonder how many old women are into Dumbledore. They must be like "oooooohh! Dumbledooooooore!" –D train Overheard by: tanechka Drunk 20-something woman on cell: I’ve fallen off the Voldemort wagon! –Port Authority Overheard by: McFreaky
Tutor: So did you understand the story you read for homework?
Girl student: The first time I read it, I didn't understand it. But the second time, I was mad fucking high, and I got it. –Oriental Boulevard, Brooklyn
Friend’s mom: So, Michelle said you just graduated. What is your degree in, Jessica?
Recent grad: I did! My major was Psychology, but I have a minor in Sex. Well, they call it ‘Sexual Studies.’
Friend’s mom: That’s great. Do you plan on teaching with it or…?
Recent grad: I could teach sex-ed, but I want to do something hands-on. –Starbucks, Union Square Overheard by: Melissa H.
Professor: When would be a good day for our review session?
Student: How about Friday?
Professor: Nope, sorry. Friday I'm gonna get my drink on!
Student: Can we have it in the bar? –NYU
Tourist son: Wow, is this high school?
Tourist dad: Yup, you gotta be like Asian to go here. –Stuyvesant High School
Guy, looking at historic buildings: This is the kind of thing they should have taught us in school.
Girl: Yeah, there's a lot of things that schools didn't teach us.
Guy: I think a bug just flew into my nose.
Guy: It's squirming around in there. It's really uncomfortable. I don't know what to do about it. –Governor's Island Overheard by: Kevin
Student: So how can we use this information to our advantage?
Professor: Well, if you were ever going to kill someone you would want to bury them in wet ground.
Student: Like a swamp?
Professor, with evil grin: A swamp would be ideal. –Electromagnetics Lecture, Columbia University