Archive for the ‘Elevators’ Category

Wednesday-One-Liners Head to Pound Town

Drinking college co-ed: It was like, my brain shut off, and my genitals went ‘woo-hoo!’

–60th & Amsterdam

Guy on cell: Sorry, I couldn’t make it. I was tied up. Hopefully, next time it’ll be you.

–116th & Broadway

Gay black man to black woman: Girl, I know the perfect guy for you. He will beast fuck you. He will fuck you like a white girl.

–Greenwich & 7th Ave

Overheard by: Artie

Black guy: I’ll do the wheelbarrow on the first date, I don’t give a fuck!

–Downtown 6 train

Overheard by: biz

Girl in bathroom stall: How many guys can I sleep with in a week and not be a slut?

–Soundz Lounge, Lasalle St & Broadway

Girl: I wondered why you kept talking about pony play!

–Elevator, 168th St & Broadway

Overheard by: Peter Pecker

Well-dressed man on cellphone: He must have had a dildo in his pants, and she grabbed onto that. It’s the only way they could have worked it.

–La Giancoma, second intermission, Metropolitan Opera

Overheard by: Schroeder

Ten Bucks Says He Asks Her Out Before They Get to Their Floor

Ugly guy: Yeah, we broke up because it just didn’t work out between us. We had too many differences.
Pretty girl: I’m sorry to hear that. How long has it been?
Ugly guy: Years, so I’m over it. Well, we were swingers so it got complicated. Well, – I was a swinger. She wasn’t.
Pretty girl: Ummm… (stares at wall) Great elevator conversation!

–Elevator, Viacom Building, 44th & Broadway