Archive for the ‘Elevators’ Category

These Wednesday One-Liners Got Sole!

Woman: Nothing says "ferry terminal" like fish with moustaches.

–Battery Maritime Building

Overheard by: Jon A.

Guy in quiet, crowded elevator: Do you know if jellyfish reproduce sexually?

–Google's NYC Office, 15th St & 8th Ave

Overheard by: Derek

Teen girl to friend: But your shrimp ate a fish alive? Is that what happened? I don't believe you. Shrimp can't eat fish. It's like part of a food chain or something.

–Metro North Railroad

Overheard by: Jessica S.

Excited tourist girl among crowd of Chinese people: I can smell the fish!

–Grand Street Subway Station

Overheard by: Angelina

30-something female customer to H&M employee: Do I smell like I just ate fish?

–H&M

Overheard by: julia

Really drunk girl in front of gallery: I would fuck him for lobster!

–26st St & 10th Ave, Chelsea

Overheard by: Charlotte

Wednesday One-Liners Wish They Could DVR Their Lives, Instead

Young woman on elevator to friend: I have a date this Thursday with a guy I met on match.com, and I was so excited, but then I remembered Thursday is Grey's Anatomy! I mean, I'm DVRing it, but that's so not the same.

–Wall St.

Overheard by: krazyhippie

Large 40-something woman: But I'm not gonna be on Maury sayin', "I'm 100% sure!" Because I'm not!

–10th St & FDR

20-something woman on cell: It's white, sleeveless…well, you don't watch Gossip Girl but it's totally Blair-worthy.

–W 19th & 5th Ave

Appalled girl to friend: So, I guess he just couldn't hold it in and needed to share with everyone around him, so he just shouted out "Fuck! I miss Gossip Girl!"

–Mercer & W 3rd

Saucy Latina: Telemundo makes BET look like The History Channel.

–171st St & Broadway

Overheard by: The Low Hat

Guy to friend: My girlfriend is cool if you and your boys are…she loves the BBC when she's high.

–PATH Station

Overheard by: smjcnj

30-something woman on cell: Remember season one of The Hills? What a simpler time.

–Columbia University

Overheard by: The Evil Triangle

Wednesday Accidentally Leaves a Sponge in the One-Liner

Woman: I told him I wasn't opposed to dinner just because he's had a vasectomy.

–Columbia University

Overheard by: Meister

Preppy guy: They took cartilage out of his ear and put it in my nose.

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Ladle

UES woman: I'm going to get my nails done, then get a colonoscopy in Queens.

–89th and Park

Overheard by: AeC and jRw

Woman on phone: Well, of course I got it removed
*(pause)
Woman
: It hurt like hell.


–Elevator in the Hudson Hotel

Guy on phone, Nnoz done: Hts okay – it's just routine anal surgery!

–Astor Place

Overheard by: Tam

Transvestite

(couple enters elevator, making out and groping each other as they enter)
Meathead boyfriend to semi-attractive girlfriend
: Are they going to make me sign out and then sign in when we get back?

Semi-attractive girlfriend: I'm not sure, I think probably.
Meathead boyfriend: Well, if it helps keep you safe…
Semi-attractive girlfriend: Speaking of safe, I think I have another stalker. But this time, he's 6'3″, 230 pounds, and a fireman.

–Columbia Dorm

Overheard by: Z