Archive for the ‘Elevators’ Category

Ten Bucks Says He Asks Her Out Before They Get to Their Floor

Ugly guy: Yeah, we broke up because it just didn’t work out between us. We had too many differences.
Pretty girl: I’m sorry to hear that. How long has it been?
Ugly guy: Years, so I’m over it. Well, we were swingers so it got complicated. Well, – I was a swinger. She wasn’t.
Pretty girl: Ummm… (stares at wall) Great elevator conversation! –Elevator, Viacom Building, 44th & Broadway

The Governor's Accent Tends to Throw People Off

Guy #1, wearing American Apparel sweater: Brr.
Guy #2: Man, I freaking hate American Apparel!
Guy #1: Yeah, this sweater's thin as hell!
Guy #2: No, I mean like they're all “American” Apparel” so they can sell to Americans, pretending to be made by Americans. Meanwhile, their clothes are being made in California! –Elevator, St. George Hotel, Brooklyn Overheard by: Crazy Person

Wednesday One-Liners Lay the Smack Down

Big guy on phone: … All I’m sayin’ is that’s wrong, man — you hit an ol’ woman, and you’re a boxer! –151st & Amsterdam Overheard by: Thin walls Guy on cell: So, wait — you punched her or slapped her? In the face?! Oh. Ow… Yeah, that’s still not appropriate. –N 6th St, Brooklyn Overheard by: j Angry guy on cell: This guy laid a fucking warrant on me for beating up crackheads! –168th & Fort Washington Ave Overheard by: RR Five-year-old girl to seven-year-old brother: I’ll punch your Adam’s apple straight down your throat! –Graham Ave bus station Black girl on rising escalator, to friend: If he says anything to me, I’m gonna kick him in the ding-ding and then run! –Broadway East station Overheard by: Subwaysurfer