Bimbette #1: Oh my god, you just called me Breanne.
Bimbette #2: I always call you Breanne.
Bimbette #1: Oh, yeah! You’re right… I totally miss my name…
–Walgreens, Empire State Building
Overheard by: seriously?
Archive for the ‘Empire State Building’ Category
You Really Wanna Call Your Kid a “Wet Weenie” in Public?
Mom with camera, chasing kid: Are you gonna be a weenie, or are you gonna let me take your picture?
Kid: I want to go inside! I’m all wet!
Mom: You are being a weenie!
–Top of Empire State Building [while raining]
Beer Companies and Star Wars Nerds Have Little to Fear
Girl: You’re on crack. Nobody’s just going to start calling the Empire State Building ‘ESB.’
Guy: If I do it often enough, it might start a trend.
–Empire State Building
Can You Believe That Tasti D-Lite Isn’t Real Ice Cream? Crazy.
JAP: Can you believe it’s snowing upstate? It’s crazy.
Hispanic delivery man: Yeah.
JAP: Can you believe that that Yankee died? It’s crazy.
Hispanic delivery man: Yeah.
–Empire State Building
Didn’t Dr. Sugarman Warn You Against Telling Me How I Feel?
Little girl: Mom, I really, really want to jump off!
Mom: No, you really don’t.
–86th floor, Empire State Building
Wednesday One-Liners Thought Felicity Huffman Deserved that Oscar
Skater kid: What’s the point of being gay if you like girls who dress like boys?
–42nd St, between 7th & 8th Ave
Lady on phone: Yeah, she was working at a factory, but she was passing as a man… Well, she didn’t last a week at the factory.
–Bus in Lincoln Tunnel
TA: We live in a two-gender system of society. There’s no green ‘It’s a hermaphrodite!’ balloon to put out on your front lawn.
–NYU Silver Center
Overheard by: Limey
Chick: I mean, I feel frumpy here. For real. I’m sick of being like, ‘That guy is skinnier than me, has on nicer jeans, and has better makeup.’
–26th St
Overheard by: agrees with that girl
College student on cell: Great, I’ll see you soon. Can I be dressed as a woman?
–114th & Broadway
Mom to very young son: Some things are for boys, and some things are for girls. It was cute when you were little, but now it’s time to differentiate.
–Target, Atlantic Ave, Brooklyn
Wednesday One-Liners Have Lost Their Group
Teenage boy tourist: Times Square is by far the coolest part of New York. It’s almost like heaven!
–Times Square
A tourist is craning his neck to photograph the Empire State Building.
New Yorker: What is he looking at?! … Oh.
–34th & 5th
Tourist: There isn’t anywhere within walking distance.
–53rd & Lex
Overheard by: Not a Clueless Tourist
Hobo, after stealing someone’s luggage: Tourists need to be more careful when they come to New York City.
–6th Ave & 23rd St
Overheard by: BOB Sled
Tourist dropping money in front of frozen female mime he’s been staring at for five minutes: That was truly incredible. Thank you so much.
–Outside MoMA
Tourist: I guess we should go to the Ground Zeroes.
–5th Ave & 13th St
Overheard by: Sally Tomato
Thug: Just push them out of the way. They’re tourists, they’ll love it.
–Times Square
Overheard by: duffduff
Internecine Rivalries are Just What the Post Office Wants!
DHL guy: Hey, you going to 5-5-1-3? Take this over there for me.
FedEx lady: Nigga, you know there’s no ‘FedEx’ in ‘team.’
–55th floor, Empire State Building
Overheard by: Guy Smiley
Wednesday One-Liners: Too Busy to Acquire Social Skills
Virgin-For-Life: Clark Kent and Kal-El are the same goddamn thing, Joey! We are not having this conversation again! Jesus Christ! I’m going home!
–Coney Island
20-Something Virgin-For-Life, noticing guy with Superman t-shirt: Look! That’s who I wanna be when I grow up! Clark Kent! Imagine just taking a suit off and becoming a superhero.
–Empire State Building
Overheard by: Guy With Superman t-shirt
Virgin-For-Life: The intestinal epithelium is my dream tissue.
–Albert Einstein College of Medicine, the Bronx
Overheard by: Joshua Drumm
Virgin-For-Life: He’s really sharp. He’s like the head of Voltron.
–23rd between 5th & 6th
Wednesday One-Liners’ Hometowns Were Glad to See Them Go
Brit lady, to MTA booth lady: Two adults, please. We’ll be getting off around 58th Street. –14th St F station Overheard by: Fidget Tourist: Excuse me, does the F train stop here? –Subway sandwiches, Houston & Lafayette Tourist woman, loudly: Jeany? How many stops are we going on this train? –Times Square shuttle Overheard by: nevermind Tourist: Excuse me, which way is it to Upper Town? –Broadway & Worth Overheard by: dukes Tourist: Is this now the Grand Canyon of the East Coast? –Ground Zero Tourist: My plane doesn’t leave for 4 hours. Can I walk to the Statue of Liberty from here? –La Guardia Airport Overheard by: Jose Hernandez Tourist, leading a group of more than a dozen fellow tourists: Okay, I… um…don’t know where we are now…Oh, wait! Yes I do! We’re at the South Street Seaport! –Union Square Blonde: Look, there’s the Chrysler. Look, there’s Times Square. Where’s the Empire State Building? –Top of Empire State Building Overheard by: englishman in new york Tourist, to deck hand: I can’t see the Statue of Liberty. Would you please move the lifeboat out of the way while I take a picture? –Staten Island Ferry Overheard by: Steven Lowell