Archive for the ‘Ethnic Food’ Category

What's Eating Wednesday One-Liners?

NYU guy on cell: Hey dude, I just wanted you to know that I left my burrito in your fridge. Yeah, I'll come around next Tuesday to pick it up. –South Street Seaport Overheard by: Julium Rotund old woman at lesbian hipster cafe: Give me a sesame bagel, pound it down till it's flat, then toast it till it has a nice rich brown coating. And please, a coffee with cream. Make it a nice tan color. –Paradise Cafe, 8th & 17th Overheard by: Sebastian White Middle aged dad, yelling while crossing street with sons: I will learn to make Pad Thai! –Union Square Girl on phone: But seriously, you give me good food, and there's a pretty good chance I'll have a thing for you. –Union Square Park Overheard by: molly Man: You know, when I was 25 all I thought about was spending the night at the Playboy mansion. And now I'm 35, and all I really want to do is eat barbecue. –Hill Country BBQ Overheard by: I'm just here for the ribs.

The People's Republic of Wednesday One-Liners

Wasp woman, looking at Asian Peoples exhibit: Oh, honey, look, that woman looks just like that woman at that Chinese food place we like! –Museum of Natrual History Overheard by: Heather Older man to Chinese friend: You know, Caucasians really can't tell the difference between the Asians and the Chinese. –23rd St b/w 5th & 6th Ave Overheard by: James Burly bouncer to burnt-out groupie: Don't think of it as a finger, think of it as an Asian penis. –11th & 3rd Tourist on cell: I think I'm heading towards Little Italy, but all I see are Chinese people. I feel like fuckin' Marco Polo. Fuck man, where are you? (trips on curb and falls into pile of trash bags) –Canal St Giggling 20-something: So we hired a new intern, and she's Asian! –Murray Hill Overheard by: sab

Wednesday One-Liners Are So Nouveau Riche

Female shopper to Bloomingdale's cologne sprayer: Don't you dare spray your $30 over my $150. –Perfume Aisle, Bloomingdale's Old lady on cell: I mean, it's just five million… –Madison & 77th St Very rich mom to new nanny, about baby in stroller: Okay, well, she loves sushi, and… –Upper East Side Rich teen: I asked my mom to go to Louis Vuitton with me this weekend and she was like, "we're in a recession, let's go to Dolce." –42nd St Overheard by: I want a m6 Label-whore eating grapes and cheese, to friend: Oh my god, I feel so rich when I eat this stuff… Oh, wait, I am. –Paul's Cafe

Wednesday One-Liners Want You to Know About the Size of Their Bank Accounts

Yuppie on cell (trying to be discreet): Hey mom. Are you busy? Could you Google Maps me? I'm on Houston and West Broadway. Yeah, I didn't want to ask anyone for directions and make a fool of myself. Although I'm pretty sure I just did, because half of this coffee shop is looking at me now. –W Houston Overheard by: Let's face it, we were all new at one point. 40-something yuppie woman: And then I realized that my biggest problem in life is that most of the time I'm incredibly happy, but I'm not aware of how happy I am. –81st & Madison Yuppie dad to seven-year-old daughter: Now when you start buying iPods, that's when you're going to want to have a Visa card. –Stanton & Christie Overheard by: Ross Three-year-old yuppie spawn: Noooooooooooo! I don't want Pad Thai! I want sushi! –Dice Thai, Prospect Park Overheard by: I'll take sushi too but you're payin', kid

…Don't You Think?

Friend #1: Oh! We should all ride our bikes to Red Hook, check out the ball field, get Swedish meatballs at Ikea and hang out at the flea market.
Friend #2:: I… can't… do that.
Friend #1: Why? Oh, do you not own a bike?
Friend #2: No, I don't. And… I also don't know how to ride a bike.
Friend #1: What? And you live in Williamsburg?
Friend #3: Hey, it's ironic. –South Street Seaport

Wednesdays Floss After Every One-Liner

Asian girl on cell: Yeah… or I could just knock her teeth out and sell them on eBay or something. –Chelsea Market Overheard by: Alyssa Girl on cell: And out of nowhere dude a goddamn peacock feather hit me in the teeth! –Starbucks, 8th & 39th Old man: I can smell my own tooth decay! –Times Square Overheard by: One Liners Are The Best Lady on cell: I don't know what to do. I'm like nervous… I know… I haven't bought toothpaste in years… –Duane Reade Guy on phone: The difference between you and me is you drink tea and eat tofu. I drink whiskey and make people eat their teeth. –48th & 5th Ave Overheard by: Rebecca

Wednesday One-Liners Are So Not the Freshmaker

Bimbette: I don't think I've ever been that grossed out during the day. It all started when that woman smelled like pee… –6 Train Overheard by: j Female suit: We were above an Indian restaurant and he was banging me from behind. I could smell the curry, and while he was banging me I was gagging. –NJ Transit Chick: You smell like vag and pizza. –Borders Girl to friend, after bending head down into her: Damn my puss stank. –E Train Overheard by: Nicole College guy (screaming at friend): Dude! How are you even in college?! You smell like Oust! You smell like Tropical Glade! –1 Train Concerned hipster: I know you just orgasmed, but what's that smell? –E 9th & 3rd Overheard by: Peanut

“The Old Dom” Doesn’t Sound Quite So Hot

Southern man: What the hell is a steak free-tes?
Southern woman: Oh honey, it’s a chicken fried steak and they probably serve it with grits. This is where famous people come to eat like real human beings.
Southern man: Well hell, they should call it somethin’ more respectable than Pasties. –Pastis, 9th & Little W. 12th Overheard by: Jack B. Nimble