Archive for the ‘Etiquette’ Category

If Paris Hilton Comes Into Red Lobster, We’ll Discuss It

Woman: Where are you from?
Tourist: We’re from Texas! Why, could you hear our accents over there?
Woman: No, it’s because in New York we know that you can’t bring dogs into restaurants.
Tourist: You can’t?
Woman: No, you can’t. We work for the Department of Public Health. Consider this a warning.
Tourist: Oh. I thought it was ok because y’all are ok with Paris Hilton and all. –Red Lobster, Times Square Overheard by: Lynne & Craig

Isn’t That Nice?

Tourist lady: Everyone has been so nice in New York; not what I expected.
Woman: We are nice, just self-absorbed. –Central Park Overheard by: Renaissance Chick Chick #1: Omigod, like, if I like your earrings, why should I tell someone else I like your earrings? I should just tell you.
Chick #2: Omigod, I’m just like that too. But really it’s because I love getting compliments.
Chick #1: Omigod! Me, too! It’s the only reason why I say nice things to other people. –33rd & 6th Overheard by: Mary Beth Hanlon Girl: Fuck nice! I am a born and bred New Yorker, I don’t care for nice. I dont’ want to be nice, I want to be right! Fuck nice! –O’Neil’s Irish Bar ladies’ room, 3rd Avenue Overheard by: Banana

Drunk, Or Still Emerging from the Anesthesia?

Conductor: May I see your ticket, please?
Drunk tranny: I already showed my ticket.
Conductor: Yes, but you haven’t showed it to me.
Drunk tranny: What the fuck? I already showed my damn ticket.
Conductor: OK, calm down. Just show me your ticket, please… I’ll come back for it to give you a minute to find it.
Drunk tranny: You are probably a leather queen. I pay $16,000 for a cunt and this is the disrespect I get. I am fucking changing cars. –Long Beach bound LIRR