Archive for the ‘Etiquette’ Category

Just Use Your New York Instincts and You’ll Do Fine

Student: Um, would we really use the extremely polite form with random strangers on the street?
Japanese teacher, exuberantly: Oh yes, definitely.
Class: [Laughter.]
Japanese teacher: I’m not kidding, you don’t want to make them think you like them or want to get close to them… they’re a stranger! You want to keep as much emotional distance from them as possible. –Japanese Class, Columbia University Overheard by: Vicksburg

Wednesday One-liners Will Cost You

Woman: So they’re paying the kidnappers child support? I mean I know they want to support their child, but where is the money going? To those crazy people. –L train Overheard by: Kelly Marie

It’s Part of the Elementary School Curriculum Here in New York

Drunken friend #1: That guy at the bar was hot. You totally should’ve taken him home.
Drunken friend #2: Why me? Let her (points to drunken friend #3) take him home.
Drunken friend #3 (trying to be discreet): Ummmm excuse me? I don’t need a man. I have d-i-c-k at home.
Drunken friend #2: Uhh, the rest of the train can figure out what you just spelled. –Crowded 6 Train Overheard by: ear hustler

If Paris Hilton Comes Into Red Lobster, We’ll Discuss It

Woman: Where are you from?
Tourist: We’re from Texas! Why, could you hear our accents over there?
Woman: No, it’s because in New York we know that you can’t bring dogs into restaurants.
Tourist: You can’t?
Woman: No, you can’t. We work for the Department of Public Health. Consider this a warning.
Tourist: Oh. I thought it was ok because y’all are ok with Paris Hilton and all. –Red Lobster, Times Square Overheard by: Lynne & Craig

Isn’t That Nice?

Tourist lady: Everyone has been so nice in New York; not what I expected.
Woman: We are nice, just self-absorbed. –Central Park Overheard by: Renaissance Chick Chick #1: Omigod, like, if I like your earrings, why should I tell someone else I like your earrings? I should just tell you.
Chick #2: Omigod, I’m just like that too. But really it’s because I love getting compliments.
Chick #1: Omigod! Me, too! It’s the only reason why I say nice things to other people. –33rd & 6th Overheard by: Mary Beth Hanlon Girl: Fuck nice! I am a born and bred New Yorker, I don’t care for nice. I dont’ want to be nice, I want to be right! Fuck nice! –O’Neil’s Irish Bar ladies’ room, 3rd Avenue Overheard by: Banana