Yuppie: …and I spent Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday teaching them the Golden Rule. –Into cell phone, Lexington & 53rd
Urban woman: Those little Chinese people never even say “Excuse me”! They’re so fucking goddamn rude! –D Train
Guy #1: Secrets are meant to be kept in your head, not in a book.
Guy #2: Sometimes I forget those secrets and need a reference! –Midtown Comics
Woman, screaming into her cell phone: I SAID I DON’T KNOW YOU. I CALLED THE WRONG NUMBER. I’M NOT ANSWERING ANY MORE QUESTIONS FROM YOU. I DIDN’T WANT TO CALL YOU. I DON’T KNOW YOU. I DON’T KNOW. I THOUGHT THIS WAS SOMEONE ELSE’S NUMBER. I DON’T WANT TO DISTURB YOU. I DON’T KNOW! WHY ARE YOU ASKING ME THAT? I DON’T KNOW YOU. I DIDN’T MEAN TO ALL YOU. I’M NOT ANSWERING ANY MORE QUESTIONS. BYE. –Union Square Park
Guy: I really hate it when people mop my feet. I am Jamaican, after all. –Bryant Park Overheard by: Stephie Russell
Black female customer: “Forget it, girl you must be suffering from NIGligence” - At Au Bon Pain on 37th & 5th, when she just missed the 4-6pm half price baked goods by one minute, and the black female who worked behind the register would not let her buy them for half price
Old lady: Please stop!
Conductor: I didn’t see you. The train pulls away. Old lady: Fuckhead. –23rd Street F station
Guy: I went out with this girl recently, she was nice. I'm gonna see if she calls.
Girl: What? You're not gonna call her?
Guy: I think it takes some effort on her part, she should text or call and say thank you.
Girl: I usually do it the night of the date, saying thank you.
Guy: I think that's a sign that she doesn't like me.
Girl: I don't think so.
Unattended older child, playing with Star Wars toy: Pew, pew, pew! I shot you, you bastard!
Younger brother: Hey, don't talk like that to Star Wars!
Overheard by: Duncan Pflaster
Comedy club guy: Come see a comedy show, it's way better than next to normal!
Teenage girl: Bitch, please.
Overheard by: Ali