Chick: The waiter said I couldn’t sit on his lap. Then he said not only couldn’t I sit on his lap, that the people next to us complained that I was sitting on his lap! That’s the stupidest thing I ever heard in my life, that you can’t sit on someone’s lap in a restaurant. And to blame the people next to us, who were lovely? –Our Place, 3rd Avenue
Yuppie: …and I spent Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday teaching them the Golden Rule. –Into cell phone, Lexington & 53rd
Urban woman: Those little Chinese people never even say “Excuse me”! They’re so fucking goddamn rude! –D Train
Young woman: Excuse me, is there any more room for you all to move in? The passengers just laughed at her as the doors closed. –A train, 86th St. station (The day after the fire)
Old lady: Please stop!
Conductor: I didn’t see you. The train pulls away. Old lady: Fuckhead. –23rd Street F station
Guy: I went out with this girl recently, she was nice. I'm gonna see if she calls.
Girl: What? You're not gonna call her?
Guy: I think it takes some effort on her part, she should text or call and say thank you.
Girl: I usually do it the night of the date, saying thank you.
Guy: I think that's a sign that she doesn't like me.
Girl: I don't think so.
Unattended older child, playing with Star Wars toy: Pew, pew, pew! I shot you, you bastard!
Younger brother: Hey, don't talk like that to Star Wars!
Overheard by: Duncan Pflaster
Comedy club guy: Come see a comedy show, it's way better than next to normal!
Teenage girl: Bitch, please.
Overheard by: Ali
Woman at table: Ugh, I can't believe they would do that! It's so rude!
Friend: Who? What?
Woman: Bring a child out. (motions to screaming toddler two tables away)
Friend: Well, it's not like they farted or something.
Woman: Still, it's gross. This isn't Connecticut, and there should be laws–for everyone's safety!
–Dos Caminos, Soho
Overheard by: Tommy
Man, from second floor window: Bye, babe, can't wait to see you again!
Woman, passing by: You wanna fuck me again, you better get me pizza next time!
–Bradhurst Ave & 150th St