40-something woman: Oh, I'm sorry.
Young dude: That's okay, but you just hit my crotch.
40-something woman: Well, did you at least enjoy it?
Young dude: Heh-heh, not really.
–L Train
Archive for the ‘Etiquette’ Category
Now She'll Spend Hours on the Fainting Couch and We'll Never Get Where We're Going!
Girl to guy, over walkie-talkie phone: Okay, I'm going to the bathroom and I'll be right down.
Friend: What happened to being ladylike and shit? Telling us she's going to the bathroom!
–125th St & Broadway
…And a Warm and Hearty “Suck It” to Your Entire Family
Suit to woman blocking left side of escalator: Politely excuse me, could you move aside? (woman waves man around and keeps chatting on cell)
Suit, politely: Ma'am, you should stay to the right if you are standing.
(woman angrily waves, mutters)
Suit, pushing her past: Fucking cunt!
Woman, politely: Fuck you, bitch.
–WTC PATH Station
Overheard by: Mondo Man
Our Submitter Seems Happy About It
Middle-aged socialite #1: I can't believe he forgot about the annual dinner!
Middle-aged socialite #2: He didn't forget, he just isn't coming.
Middle-aged socialite #1: Why would he not come?
Middle-aged socialite #2: Stacey slept with Rob.
Middle-aged socialite #1: Whaaaaat?
–Hell's Kitchen
Overheard by: Rob
Now Let's Get Slurpies!
Childish woman, after burping: I have burpies!
Older, grossed out woman: You said it, not me!
Childish woman: What?
Older, grossed out woman: You just told everyone you have herpes!
Childish woman: I don't have herpes! I have burpies!
–Q Train
Overheard by: Audrey
It's the Prospect of Going Home to Queens, Honey
Little boy watching a man: What the fuck?
Mother, reading a newspaper: You better watch your mouth today, little boy!
Little boy: But mommy, he keeps banging his head on the pole!
Mother, watching the man: What the fuck?
–F Train
Overheard by: It looked painful.
Probably Best to Do It While You're Spanking Her
Man #1: That's tough…
Man #2: Yeah. It's like asking your girl to lick your balls. There's no nice way to do that.
–Steinway St
Overheard by: Jake Blaxwell
Which Reminds Me, How's the Pepperoni Here?
Guy #1: Talk about pum pum shorts! I mean, it was disgusting!
Guy #2: Wasn't it?!
–Sal's Pizza Place, Brooklyn
Overheard by: wrong part of the convo to walk in on
Well It's Not Like It's Bergdorf's.
Husky chucklehead boyfriend: Yo! Would it be bad to take a dump in Filene's Basement?!
Preoccupied girlfriend: Ummmm…
–Filene's Basement, Union Square
Overheard by: TMI
How Could He Be Responsible from All the Way in Gaza?
Teenage boy, yelling at his iPod: Damn it, damn it, dammit! Damn stupid thing. Dammit!
Old lady passing by: You should be ashamed of yourself. Do you talk like that in front of your mother?
Teenage boy: Don't blame me, blame Jack Bauer. Damn it.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Haley