Archive for the ‘Eurotrash’ Category

Do Wednesday One-Liners Measure Up?

Eastern European in velour jumpsuit, approaching guy on street: Sup, cuz. Hey, remember to give it to Ricky tonight for that thing tomorrow. It's a good size. Alright, see you later. –89th & 3rd Overheard by: Ben A Girl to friends: And then she was like, "yeah, let me look at you with my weirdly oversized eyeballs." –Court St., Brooklyn Overheard by: iwn2000 Female suit on phone: We need to get them! (pause) No! They're too big! They won't fit in the hole! –Broadway Guy: Masculinity is determined by the size of your (slight pause) army… –Millennium High School Little girl, carrying tiny stick: Look! I have the biggest stick in the world! –Central Park

Wednesday One-Liners Are Out the Door Before the Condom Comes Off

Building worker on cell: Like her? No, I don’t like her. I have to like every girl that I bone? Terrible? Why is that terrible? –52nd St & 6th Ave Overheard by: blatto Guy on cell: I’m looking for someone to, excuse my language, fuck, not just have sex with. –Manhattan Ave Overheard by: Jason Eurotrash: So then I felt bad because he couldn’t guess who I was and so I gave him a hint. I told him I would meet him at six o’clock at the motel, because you know, that was like our place! –34th St & 5th Ave Guy: You sleep with them once and they expect you to bring your toothbrush and loofa over the next time. –Tad’s Montana Overheard by: Mishen Girl on cell: Remember how I was talking to that guy in London? Well, he’s coming to visit for five days. Yeah, it’s gonna be fun. I’ve decided, after he leaves, I’m not going to talk to him anymore. What’s the point? It’s not even a relationship, it’s a pseudo-relationship. You fight and get mad and what for? I’m not moving to London, he’s not moving to New York. Yeah, so we’ll have fun, and then when he leaves, I just won’t talk to him anymore. How is that shady? –N train, Astoria Overheard by: MissPinkKate Girl: Yeah, I feel like I’m bangin’ the whole world! –Columbus Circle subway exit

Wine and Wednesday One-Liners

Female college student on cell: Sorry, there was an incident. She was eating string cheese, and I told her she looked like a walrus. So she tried to smack me in the face but she couldn't, and I ran into the bathroom. So she tried to hit me with the string cheese, but I was like your string cheese will get all fuzzy. So she smacked me in the face with the cheese. –Penn Station Girl on phone: And then I stuck a string cheese in the microwave. Yeah, in the wrapper. –57th & 7th Sexy guy, looking at orchestra program description of movement "con brio": Does that mean "with cheese"? –Camerata Notturna Concert, W. 57th St Overheard by: Ladle Older European woman to another: She's fine with the reference to cheese. I mean, she can eat cheese, just not the real kind. –Union Square Hipster: So she writes everything down in her cheese diary… –Bedford & 4th

“Don't Hate Me Because I'm Wednesday One-Liner”

Female hipster, loudly: I hate those two! They're egomaniacs with low self esteem! –Staten Island Overheard by: Johnny Drongo Sullen-looking girl: I guess it's just incumbent on me to be cheerful regardless of the fact that I hate everything. –Warren St & W Broadway Overheard by: Tha WB Girl at Dali exhibition: I hate people. I hate museums. I really hate Spaniards. –Dali and Film Exhibition, MoMA Overheard by: Andi C. Concerned girl to friends: Maybe if we stopped singing Simon & Garfunkel so loudly, people would hate us less. –Grand Central Teen girl: I just hate her so much! I'm not even going to Facebook friend her, I hate her so much! –B Train Overheard by: Jen European woman wearing I Love NY shirt, holding Sex & the City box set: I hate Americans. –Canal & Lafayette