Archive for the ‘Excretions’ Category

Wednesday One-liners Excreta

Guy: Baby, I gotta piss, shit…barf, burp, sneeze, all that crap. –Astroland Punk girl: Oh my God. If I see Jorge I’m going to poop my pants. –Randall’s Island Overheard by: Holly Kaye Woman: Do you know how nasty maxi pads are? It’s like a baby sitting in its own shit. It’s like me sloshing around in my own blood! –22nd & Park Overheard by: Sion Harrington Crazy lady: Can I get some privacy? I saw you peeking through the crack. All I wanna do is pee. Can I get some privacy? All I wanna do is pee. If you wanna see pussy, I can show you where to go but can I get some privacy? All I wanna do is pee! –Penn Station ladies’ room Overheard by: bebe Woman: Excuse me! If you’re going to pee on the seat do you think you could at least wipe it off when you’re done so the next person doesn’t have to sit in it? –Grand Central ladies’ room Dude on cell: …so I picked it up and there was, like, some brown stuff on it that I thought was, like, dirt. So I went to brush it off with my hand…but dude, it, like, wasn’t dirt…no… –Penn Station Overheard by: P. Mills Girl: Yo, this motherfucking butterscotch tastes like jizz! –Loews, 32nd & 2nd Overheard by: annie lin Woman on cell: I don’t even know how to wash his balls when they’re that dirty! –Grand Central Overheard by: cat verde Punk chick: Guys are so lucky they don’t have to bleed and when they do, it’s like, all manly. –Williamsburg Overheard by: Miss Amelia