Archive for the ‘Families’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Use American Psycho As Porn

Suit: Did they tip their 45s to their homies?

–Park Avenue

Overheard by: SuperVixen

Suit on phone: 500 milligrams? That's nothing. First, you need to start looking at the definition of possession…

–Broadway & Reade

Suit to little son: I need to teach you the difference between "homos" and "hobos." You'll understand easily, (giggles) …not much of a difference.

–Doctor's Office, Carrol Gardens

Suit on phone, snickering: Your posts are turd sandwiches!

–4th Ave & 13th St

Overheard by: ris

Suit on cell: I say go for it. You're rich, she's hungry. What could be more perfect?

–47th St & 6th Ave

Overheard by: Adrienne

Swirl Was Always My Favorite Kind Of Soft-Serve Ice Cream

Black hobo to young tourist couple with baby: Mmmmmmmmmmm… That's a nice lookin' baby! You must've done good that night… or morning. (laughs)
Father: Uh… haha… yeah.
Black hobo: I need to find me a white lady so I can make me a Barack Obama. Mmm-hmm!

–Uptown 6 Train

Overheard by: Emily

What? I Was at Berkeley in the 70's

Boyfriend: What do they got, babe?
Girlfriend: Um, sandwiches, baked ziti, tossed salad…
Boyfriend: Aaaaw yeeeah. Tooossed saalaad.
Girlfriend: Alex…
Older 50-something: What, what's so funny? What?
Boyfriend: Um…yeah, no. Nothing, I was just being stupid.
(girlfriend giggles)
Older 50-something
: What?

(boyfriend whispers in 50-something's ear and she looks confused for a second)
Older aunt
: Oh. You mean a rim job.


–Outdoor Cafe, 1st & 7th

Wednesday One-Liners Worry That Trucker Hats May Be Out

Hipster girl: I hate it when obviously uncool people wear flannel.

–E Train

Overheard by: dru

Hipster girl: Shark Week is a week? It lasted like a month last year.

–N 6th St, Williamsburg

Frumpy hipster: No! Hipsters melt in the rain!

–McCarren Park Pool, Greenpoint

Hipster on cell: No, I've never heard of a nocturnal squirrel… Do you even… Wait, are you trying to tell me you're gay?! No? Well, this is awkward…

–Central Park

Hipster guy to another: Have you ever played with yourself under a blacklight? There's like all kinds of shit on your dick!

–Union Hall

Overheard by: Cass

Frumpy mom, holding up item for hipster tween daughter: Catherine, is this ironic?

–Beacon's Closet, Williamsburg

…to Buy Chocolate and Alcohol

Granddaughter: I spy… Grandma… You have to listen…I spy with my little eye, something that helps adults.
Mother: Chocolate.
Grandmother: Alcohol.
Granddaughter: No! Bank of America!
Mother: That helps adults?

–7th & Broadway

Headline by: Botticus

Runners-Up:
· “…In THIS Economy?!” – Pablo & Pablo

· “I Slept Wth a Teller Once” – Yoli
· “If by Help, You Mean Fuck and by Adults, You Mean Shareholders…Then, Well Played” – cmm
· “Sure, That’s the Third Person They Helped Off the Floor & Gave a Tissue Too” – tatts
· “Well, Maybe Not Where YOU Go, but I Get Mani-Pedis Everytime I Go There” – Anthony


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