Archive for the ‘Families’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Will Swallow for Diamonds

Mother to five-year-old daughter: That's why she's a very smart woman. She married a very rich man for exactly that reason. –University Place &10th St Overheard by: evanescent Homeless man to little boy with parents: Ask your mama why she marry your daddy. She'll tell you it was for the money. –Statue of Liberty Sorority girl to another: So like, do you think Brad makes good investments? –53rd & 1st Asian girl on cell: It's like I have a sign that says "trophy wife" written across my forehead, and then they find out I'm 22 and the sign is suddenly in neon. –Tribeca Girl on cell: No, you remember, I'm going to be a gold-digger! It's like a hooker, but smarter. –NYU Classroom

Raise Your Hand If The Biggest Loser Pisses You Off

Mother: What would you guys want if we get McDonald's? We haven't had it in so long…
20-something son: We haven't had it in so long because it's so fattening and gross. Do you know how much fat is in just one of their wraps?
Teenage son: This is not The Biggest Loser. This is called We're Getting McDonald's. –Hylan Boulevard, Staten Island

I've Never Been More Proud.

Angry 20-something girl: Dad, you realize that when you refuse to give me the keys to my car that he's been illegally driving, you are effective enabling him to steal from me!
Confused-looking dad: Well, I understand how you feel, honey, really I do, but…
Angry 20-something girl (cutting him off): Don't fucking placate me, you sonofabitch!
Confused-looking dad (looking helplessly toward his wife): Cheryl…your daughter is yelling at me using profanity and words I don't know. –Bay Ridge, Brooklyn Overheard by: Krystal