Mother to five-year-old daughter: That's why she's a very smart woman. She married a very rich man for exactly that reason. –University Place &10th St Overheard by: evanescent Homeless man to little boy with parents: Ask your mama why she marry your daddy. She'll tell you it was for the money. –Statue of Liberty Sorority girl to another: So like, do you think Brad makes good investments? –53rd & 1st Asian girl on cell: It's like I have a sign that says "trophy wife" written across my forehead, and then they find out I'm 22 and the sign is suddenly in neon. –Tribeca Girl on cell: No, you remember, I'm going to be a gold-digger! It's like a hooker, but smarter. –NYU Classroom
Tracheotomy lady in wheelchair: Nita, the car’s here. The car’s here, Nita — get off the phone! [Cousin Nita tries to hang up wall phone, but misses.] You’re so lame, Nita. –Lucille Lortel Theatre
Eight-year-old girl to older brother: I don't like booooooys!
10-year-old brother: I don't like boys, either!
Kids' ghetto mom to son: Boy, you betta like boys or I'mma pull your dick off. –Uptown 2 Train Overheard by: E.C.
Daddy to daughter: You don't know what “no” means?
Daddy to wife: We have completely failed as parents. –Fort Green
Teen girl: Mom, when did you get your period?
Mom: Don’t use that word, call it dot. –1 train
Mother: What would you guys want if we get McDonald's? We haven't had it in so long…
20-something son: We haven't had it in so long because it's so fattening and gross. Do you know how much fat is in just one of their wraps?
Teenage son: This is not The Biggest Loser. This is called We're Getting McDonald's. –Hylan Boulevard, Staten Island
Little kid: Grandma, I want a dollar.
Ghetto grandma: Nigga, we had to work to get money, sometimes we would get beat.
Little kid: Can I get my dollar now? –The Bronx Overheard by: Julio Pena
Angry 20-something girl: Dad, you realize that when you refuse to give me the keys to my car that he's been illegally driving, you are effective enabling him to steal from me!
Confused-looking dad: Well, I understand how you feel, honey, really I do, but…
Angry 20-something girl (cutting him off): Don't fucking placate me, you sonofabitch!
Confused-looking dad (looking helplessly toward his wife): Cheryl…your daughter is yelling at me using profanity and words I don't know. –Bay Ridge, Brooklyn Overheard by: Krystal
Hispanic toddler, whining: Daddy, I want a corn dog!
Hispanic dad, completely serious: I'm going to punch you in the face.
Hispanic mother: Coño! –6th & 3rd Overheard by: Jesse H.
20-something-guy: Obama condoms, for long and hard times!
Tourist mom: What's an Obama condom?
Tourist dad: I have no idea. –Times Square Overheard by: Shannon