Archive for the ‘Fashion’ Category

Wednesday One-liners Watch Their Weight

Dude on cell: She was a size 16 before the baby, but now she’s a 32. She went from Kermit the Frog to Snuffleupagus!…What size are you? –Staten Island Ferry

Are You a Boy, a Girl, or a Wednesday One-Liner?

Guy to three cute girls: You’re the best looking gay guys I’ve seen all day!

–Christopher & Bedford

Chick to dude: You could wear a dress if you wanted to.

–Broadway

Abercrombie tot: Wait, you can’t carry a boy dog in a purse. That’s unnatural!

–Penn Station

Tween girl to friends: No, she’s a boy now and she looks gay.

–Staten Island Ferry

Overheard by: R

Cute brunette: Who am I, forcing your lovers into a male-female dichotomy? I am terrible!

–Columbia University

Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy

Wednesday One-Liners Get Aufed

Heinously-dressed chick on cell: I wish I could see you today! I’m wearing a really cool outfit!

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: fashionbly competent

Ghetto chick: I hate skinny jeans. Them shits be mad tight!

–H&M, 125th St

Overheard by: Alison R.

Girl: Okay, those might be Givenchy, but she totally bought them at DSW.

–Houston & Broadway

Salesperson: The trousers are unfinished so you have to go to a tailor when you get home and have them fitted. Are there any tailors where you come from?

–Macy’s

Overheard by: Other suit-buying tourist

Two UES ladies passing by a child laughing at her reflection in upscale shoe store window: That baby has a head start — she already likes stilettos.

–79th & Lex

Overheard by: B.B.

Girl to guy: You should just wear nude leggings!

–1 train

Overheard by:

Girl on cell: Those are the gayest jeans I’ve ever seen. As long as you wear them, you will always be gay. Congratulations.

–H&M, SoHo

Wednesday One-Liners Ain't Got the Money, Honey

Older man, to no one in particular: That's why I keep my income low, so no one jumps me.

–Myrtle & Clinton, Brooklyn

Woman with scratch-off lotto card to friend: I won four dollars! I won four dollars! You know I can't spend that, though. I gotta get food for my kids. Those niggas be hungry!

–Staten Island Ferry

Angelic-looking teen girl screaming into cell: Are you coming to the movies with me? You're broke? Just mug someone on the way. Mug someone! (pause) Mug! M-u-g! Rhymes with "thug"!

–Chambers & West St

Puerto Rican dude on cell: I ain't got no money. I got weed, but I ain't got no money.

–25th St & 7th Ave

Village lady: She was in foreclosure before it was fashionable to be in foreclosure.

–Bleecker & Mercer