Archive for the ‘Fashion’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Shoot from the Hip

Hipster to friends: Are you kidding me?! I wouldn’t fuck her with Tim’s* dick and Steve* pushing!

–Capone’s, Wiliamsburg

Hipster boy to hipster girl after hardhat made degrading comment: Why are there never any gay men ogling guys? It’s not that I’m gay, but an ogle or two wouldn’t hurt.

–Soho

Hipster chick: Yeah, glitter is, like, the herpes of arts and crafts.

–Bleecker & Broadway

Overheard by: Ella

Hipster hoochie: … And then we found that guy who had a rock of crack, and we smoked it together!

–The Levy, Williamsburg

Overheard by: The Sock

Hipster selling doilies at stoop sale: I bought these when I was going through my doily phase.

–Williamsburg

Hipster dude: I never want to invite him, but he’d never actually show up, so it’s cool.

–St. Mark’s Pl

Actually, It Was Dieting and Giving Head

Wannabe fashionista on cell: Yeah, so I have to walk the red carpet. What? No . . . My feet are trashed, but how much walking will I actually have to do? . . . What, Mom, stop it! I was trying on gowns the other day. But I have to find a smaller one. Yeah, they were too big. . . No, Mom! What do you think my job was when I was in PR, borrowing gowns from stars? –Starbucks, 21st & 7th

Lady In Red

Woman (wearing red pants & with red fingernails): I just made the greatest discovery: if I always dress in red, then I will always match and always look good! I’m now in the middle of getting rid of all my old clothing and buying only red clothing. — Subway