Archive for the ‘Fashionistas’ Category

You Should Take That As a Sign to Fuck Me

Fashionista queer: Excuse me, could I bum a cigarette?
Rocker queer: Sorry, I don't smoke. But you should take that as a sign to quit! It's bad for you!
Fashionista queer: Who cares, I'm skinny!

–Cafeteria, 17th & 7th

Overheard by: Nellee

A Wednesday for Breakfast, a One-Liner for Lunch, and a Sensible Dinner

Dancer girl: I dunno, I mean, like, I wish they made a size like, triple zero, so I would have something to look forward to, y’know?

–Central Park

Man: Yeah, that’s how you gain weight: a backed-up colon. I cleaned mine out this weekend.

–B54 Bus

Overheard by: Alma Molato

Old woman, very loudly, in the middle of the movie: Boy, is she skinny!

–Movie theater, 86th Street b/w 2nd & 3rd

Overheard by: The New York Crank

Girl on cell: If bitch can’t afford to buy her own groceries, she can just get skinny!

–Green Village Used Clothing, Bushwick

Anorexic fashionista: Any self-respecting anorexic knows that!

–Lincoln Center, 62nd & 9th

Man on cell: You went to a party last night? Well, that means you have to do three hours tomorrow. And I want you to drink lots of water, but none of that crystal light crap. That is seven calories that you do not need.

–Blockbuster, Broadway

Scrooge McDuck’s Wednesday One-Liners

Fashionista to another: It didn’t taste that good, but I really needed the money.

–Madison Ave

Overheard by: John Galt Jr.

Fashion student: The thing I can’t stand about fine arts is how obsessed with money it’s become… Yeah, so I’m leaving the program to study advertising.

–Whole Foods, Union Square

Overheard by: nova scotia

Security guard to another: I ain’t here for the money. I’m here for the fuckin’ prestige.

–Westminster Dog Show, Madison Square Garden

Overheard by: Amber Star

White chick on cell: Hi, honey! How are you? Are you being tickled by coins? Are you being tickled by coins?!

–LaGuardia Airport

Overheard by: mela

Guy on corner: Can you spare any change or frequent flyer miles?

–14th & 6th

Overheard by: Scientific

Frumpy lady to Joey Ramone lookalike: I’m feeling awfully constipated, baby! Constipated with money is the way I like to be!

–3rd Ave, Bay Ridge