Girl: I'm not going home straight.
Boy: I think you mean “I'm not going straight home.”
Girl: No. I mean “I'm not going home straight.”
–Bard High School, Queens
Overheard by: Sunny
Archive for the ‘Fast Times at New York High’ Category
Just a Little Bit Of Wednesday One-Liner Repeating
Mother to child in front of diorama of pilgrims and Native Americans: Well, that's because the Indians never met real people before.
–Museum of Natural History
Overheard by: Peter R.
Young girl, arriving through train tunnel at Grand Central Station: I wonder if Harriet Tubman is down here.
–Grand Central Station
Airhead: I think like… Colonialization is like… The umbrella theme of, like… Diplomacy.
–Pommes Frites
History teacher, about Andrew Jackson: He tight, he kill mad people, he buggin'.
–High School
Teacher, discussing Thomas Jefferson's mistress: You see, guys? History is exciting! It's full of sex!
–High School, Lower Manhattan
Overheard by: SzN31
Hey, I Don't Wanna Get Into a Whole Thing Here
Girl: What does your peanut butter taste like?
Friend, eating peanut butter: Was that a come-on?
–Bard High School, Queens
Overheard by: Sunny
Hey, at Least We Gave It to Him Straight.
Straight boy to group of girls: Hey, what are you guys talking about?
Girl #1: Are you sure you want to know?
Boy: Yes.
Girl #2: We're talking about hot gay guys.
(other girls laugh)
Girl #3: Do you think Jonathan Groff is hot?
(straight boy leaves)
–Bard High School, Queens
Overheard by: Sunny
So I Shouldn't Make Wedding Plans?
Teenage girl: I'm so happy! Nick* friended me on Facebook!
Teenage boy: That's because he was high.
–Bard High School, Queens
Overheard by: Sunny
Britney Always Gets “A's” in Sulk and Sarcasm
Physics teacher: Who wants to read problem five?
Girl in front of room: Who wants to drink cyanide for breakfast?
–Bard High School, Queens
Overheard by: Sunny
Clown Porn: Explained.
Girl: Did you know half the length of a guy's foot is the length of his penis?
Boy, observing inhumanly large feet: In that case, I think you won the lottery.
–Bard High School, Queens
I Attended Paris Hilton's Debutante Summer Camp!
Boy to girl bending down at her locker: You shouldn't be bending like that, girl.
Girl, yelling after him: You don't tell me how to bend!
–Bard High School, Queens
Overheard by: Sunny
If Our Society Has Learned Nothing Else from “Total Request Live”, It's That.
Teacher: What's going on, guys? Why are your test scores so low?
Emotional girl: Well, there's just so much homework and you want to do it all, but you also want to really understand the material and there's just so much of it, and it's just so hard and … (squeals loudly)
Girl next to her: Nothing to express teenage angst like a good squeal.
–Bard High School, Queens
Overheard by: Sunny
She Does Snort When She Laughs
Girl #1, in library: Where's Samantha*?
Girl #2: Over there. (points)
Girl #1: I don't see her. Oh, there she is! She blends in with the nerds.
–Bard High School, Queens
Overheard by: Sunny