Archive for the ‘Fast Times at New York High’ Category

‘I’ Before ‘E’, Except After ‘C’, or in Wednesday One-Liners

Guy on cell: Yeah, it’s weird, it feels like I’m still alive. –W 8th & Broadway Guy: I still think surprise necrophilia is weird. –Robert Louis Stevenson School Overheard by: Lucas Man to woman companion: I hate single people. They’re all weird. –90th b/w 2nd & 3rd Man on cell: February is a weird month for Jews. –9th St. and 3rd Ave Overheard by: Hannah Trader Joe’s employee to another: No, I would not call her weird. It takes a lot for me to call somebody else weird because I am not the most normal person on the planet myself. Meow! –Trader Joe’s, Union Square Overheard by: Ingwall Observant girl: Just because you get weird haircuts doesn’t mean you’re smart. –Bowery & Rivington

It Got Me Through College

Cashier #1: So they’re like, not gonna let me graduate.
Cashier #2: What if you give them money? My school’s a capitalist machine, they’ll let you get away with murder if you pay them enough…unless you’re pregnant. Then you’re screwed.
Cashier #1: Nah, they’re too used to kids pulling knives on them for extra pencils.
Cashier #2: Then cry. You can get anything you want by crying. Works for me. –Kings Plaza, Brooklyn

Wednesday One-Liners Are So Not Hot for Teacher

Teacher: Some of the answer choices people picked were really out there. I probably could've put peanut butter and jelly, and people would think, "Oh, damn, I'm hungry, I should pick that." –Stuyvesant High School Overheard by: Student Teacher: Guys, no matter what happens, if you're absent on a test day you must bring in a note! I don't care if you're walking to school and suddenly the ground opens up and you're sucked into candyland–I need a note! –LaGuardia High School Overheard by: a note of chocolate? Acoustics teacher: This only emphasizes how little I know about acoustics. Or rather, how little is known about acoustics. –Cooper Union, Astor Place Overheard by: a student is only as good as his t eacher Teacher to little boy: You ain't gonna die just cause your leg got sprinkled on! –L Train Overheard by: Misshellee Principal: I can see what you're doing…with this bouncing and the little hand on your hip…you're trying to undermine my authority with your bad posture, I can see exactly what you think of my administration. –Bard High School Early College