Archive for the ‘Fast Times at New York High’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Have Wood.

Teenage boy: You know, if you think about it, violins are basically just giant condoms.

–Bard High School, Queens

Overheard by: Sunny

Older man on cell walking two giant dogs: She has a great body… When she sits, it's like a German violinist.

–Thompson Square Park

Mother to young daughter: Even if she was tired and cranky, she still shouldn't have hit you on the shoulder with a violin.

–Ave A & 6th St

Woman on cell: Let's go see the one about the transsexual violinists. (pause, yelling louder) Violinists! The transsexual violin players. Violin! (pause) You didn't say "violin"? Just transsexuals? (pause) Did you say "violence"? (pause) No? (pause) I'm not hungover!

–J Train

Wednesday One-Liners for Tammany Hall

Girl with Obama pin: Oh my god, I can't believe I spent this whole night hanging out with a Republican!

–104th St & Manhattan Ave

Overheard by: Emily

Guy to friends: There's only one thing I want him to shove down my throat, and it's not his Republican ideals.

–43rd & 8th

Gov't. Teacher: Sometimes you wanna smack a moderate.

–Curtis High School, Staten Island

Overheard by: jules

Woman: I blame McCain for the snow.

–St. Mark's & 3rd Ave

Overheard by: Philip & Richard

Wednesday All-Your-2,000-Parts Liners

Very upset girl to no one in particular: But nobody would ever fuck my eyelashes!

–Bard High School, Queens

Overheard by: Sunny

Boy to another: He said he had to go and get a colon autopsy!

–84th & 3rd

Overheard by: Laura

Woman to husband: And I swear, she only has half an eye!

–Times Square

Older dude in sweater vest: It was considered the Rolls Royce of organs.

–111th St & Amsterdam

Overheard by: Ladle

Middle aged man walking his dog at night: She had a shamrock on her face and a shamrock on her butt.

–West End & 77th St

Girl to another: Are you going to be upset if he has short arms?

–University Place