Fat Slob: I think I love you, babe. Ooh, that tattoo is cute. “Rot in Peace.” –Post Office, Bensonhurst
Moustached Fat Man: So I started my own ‘zine. Hopefully I’ll meet people. –Astor Place Overheard by: Tibbie X
Touchingly Humorous Bum: Yo, what are you doing in my house? You assholes! You don’t knock, you don’t wipe your feet. You’re so rude. I’m just kidding. I’m not even homeless. I don’t want to go home to my wife. She’s 380 pounds. I gotta work full time and beg in my time off just to feed the bitch. –A Train Overheard by: Tibbie X
Fat Chick: Thank God. Cheryl! It’s the Golden Arches! –Bus Entering Port Authority
A fat Italian “businessman” in a Members Only jacket is standing on the corner talking to 2 other fat Italian guys. An SUV drives by, honks the horn twice, and then speeds off. The “businessman” turns around quickly and loudly yells: Who are you? Who are you? Who are you? Who are you? Who are you? Fuckin’ faggot. –LES
A woman blocks the entire stairway. The man behind her says: Lady, if ya gotta be fat an’ slow, could ya do it in fronna somebody else? –Union Square station A portly Russian man sits down in between me and an Italian woman this morning. I bite my tongue. She does not: You’re joking, right? You don’t fit! You should just pick yourself up! –D Train
Guy: Damn, this escalator’s small…fat bitches can’t get on this. –Movie Theater, Times Square Overheard by: Alayna
Fratboy #1: Can she bring some of her friends?
Fratboy #2: You don’t want to meet her friends.
Fratboy #1: Why?
Fratboy #2: I don’t know, they’re…
Fratboy #1: They’re fat, right?
Fratboy #2: Yeah. –1 Train Overheard by: Josh Caldwell
Chubby Chick: Dude, I missed your set because I was hungry! –Opaline, Ave. A
Old Lady: And then she said she didn’t like him because he was too fat. She wanted to date someone skinnier. You know, like you?
Old Man: I’m skinny?
Old Lady: Of course.
Old Man: Then what’s this hanging off of me? –Brighton Beach