Archive for the ‘Fat People’ Category

Hobo Fun

Touchingly Humorous Bum: Yo, what are you doing in my house? You assholes! You don’t knock, you don’t wipe your feet. You’re so rude. I’m just kidding. I’m not even homeless. I don’t want to go home to my wife. She’s 380 pounds. I gotta work full time and beg in my time off just to feed the bitch. –A Train Overheard by: Tibbie X

These People Really Do Exist in New York…

A fat Italian “businessman” in a Members Only jacket is standing on the corner talking to 2 other fat Italian guys. An SUV drives by, honks the horn twice, and then speeds off. The “businessman” turns around quickly and loudly yells: Who are you? Who are you? Who are you? Who are you? Who are you? Fuckin’ faggot. –LES

The NYC Subway: A Model for Decorum

A woman blocks the entire stairway. The man behind her says: Lady, if ya gotta be fat an’ slow, could ya do it in fronna somebody else? –Union Square station A portly Russian man sits down in between me and an Italian woman this morning. I bite my tongue. She does not: You’re joking, right? You don’t fit! You should just pick yourself up! –D Train