Archive for the ‘Favorites’ Category

Juvenile Wednesday One-Liners

Second grader: Earth is the greatest planet in the whole world! –125th St & 8th Ave Overheard by: Yes, I’m his teacher. Little boy to younger brother in elevator: Stop! It’s like the hospital, you can’t touch anything! –Columbia University Overheard by: student Little girl: Big Brother is watching! –Franklin St & Church St Overheard by: Jess McGins Little boy: Yo, digit, you don’t get any pussy, how you gonna say she ugly? –Corsa Ave, the Bronx Overheard by: Edward Carney Little girl to other little girl wearing school uniform: You look like a woman. Go change! –116th St & Park Ave Overheard by: Ken Yapelli Little girl: Excuse me, where is the drugstore? I mean, where are the drugs? –Duane Reade, 7th Ave & Flatbush Overheard by: Cupcake Little boy: I can’t wait to get home so I can scratch my crotch! –6th Ave & 17th St

Owner: Actually, I Like a Gentle Up-and-Down Motion — The Roughened Tongue Will Be Ideal

Broker: This is not a pet-friendly property.
Girl: Does it matter if my cat is toilet-trained?
Broker: I don’t understand.
Girl: My cat doesn’t have a litter box. It uses the toilet. Does that help?
Broker: I am not sure if that makes a difference. How did you do it?
Girl: I used a training kit. CitiKitty.
Broker: It might impress the owner, but I am not sure it makes a difference. Does your cat flush?
Girl: It will if that helps me get the apartment. –82nd & Columbus