Second grader: Earth is the greatest planet in the whole world! –125th St & 8th Ave Overheard by: Yes, I’m his teacher. Little boy to younger brother in elevator: Stop! It’s like the hospital, you can’t touch anything! –Columbia University Overheard by: student Little girl: Big Brother is watching! –Franklin St & Church St Overheard by: Jess McGins Little boy: Yo, digit, you don’t get any pussy, how you gonna say she ugly? –Corsa Ave, the Bronx Overheard by: Edward Carney Little girl to other little girl wearing school uniform: You look like a woman. Go change! –116th St & Park Ave Overheard by: Ken Yapelli Little girl: Excuse me, where is the drugstore? I mean, where are the drugs? –Duane Reade, 7th Ave & Flatbush Overheard by: Cupcake Little boy: I can’t wait to get home so I can scratch my crotch! –6th Ave & 17th St
Broker: This is not a pet-friendly property.
Girl: Does it matter if my cat is toilet-trained?
Broker: I don’t understand.
Girl: My cat doesn’t have a litter box. It uses the toilet. Does that help?
Broker: I am not sure if that makes a difference. How did you do it?
Girl: I used a training kit. CitiKitty.
Broker: It might impress the owner, but I am not sure it makes a difference. Does your cat flush?
Girl: It will if that helps me get the apartment. –82nd & Columbus
PETA activist: Excuse me, do you love animals?
Smart-Ass queer: Yes…They’re delicious.
PETA activist: Murderer!! –Columbus Circle Overheard by: very entertained carnivore
Girl #1: My dad bugs me, too. He’s always buying orange juice because it costs less than other juices.
Girl #2: I’m sorry.
Girl #1: Now I fucking hate orange juice. What the fuck is that about? Orange juice is like a cheap whore to me now. –Upper West Side
An ice cream truck is going up the street.
Little girl in wagon: Daddy, that truck song is annoying.
Hipster dad: Yes, the commodification of your desires is annoying, isn’t it? –Bedford & N 10th Overheard by: susan
Woman: Damn, that Mexican is hungry.
Mexican with 10 bags: I’m the delivery boy, you dumb fuck. –100th & Broadway Overheard by: robby b
Desi kid #1: Shit I didn’t know Brooklyn was this advanced.
Desi kid #2: Isn’t that the Water Street dorm?
Desi kid #1: Oh yeah…
Desi kid #2: We didn’t quite make it off Manhattan, it seems. –Water St Overheard by: Innocenti
Older woman: Excuse me, miss?
Younger woman: Yeah?
Older woman: Your veil, your burqa is very beautiful. I didn’t know your people were allowed to wear it in bright colors.
Younger woman: It’s not a burqa, it’s a poncho. I’m Jewish. It’s for the rain. I got it at TJ Maxx. –53rd & 7th Overheard by: Pam
Girl: Do you ever think about us? Like, how many more of us there are than of you?
Professor guy: Of course. That’s why I always pack heat. –Columbia University Overheard by: Jeff
Girl #1: …and I went on the American Nazi Party website, and it’s–
Girl #2: I know! It’s hysterical. –26th & Park Overheard by: Kevin Stone