Archive for the ‘Fears’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Are So Archaic and Bourgeoise

20-something woman to friend: Man, can I just tell you how absolutely bizarre coffee shop conversations are in this area?! I am never ever getting married if this is the sort of stuff married women talk about all day.

–Smith & Bergan

Overheard by: Mako Shark

30-something to older woman: I can’t get married yet! I haven’t experienced even… half of the women in the world yet!

–86th & Broadway

Overheard by: Carol

Tween boy getting into the face of another tween boy: (loudly) I’ll be your fucking wife!

–Morgan’s Market

Overheard by: Akiko

Little boy: We saw a peanut marrying a princess!

–Penn Station

Overheard by: blue

Girl to friends: I think my husband’s gonna divorce me now that gay marriage is legal.

–N10th & Bedford Ave, Williamsburg

Overheard by: Non Hipster

Woman in a wedding dress and veil, on cell: Yeah, I got kicked out.

–Penn Station

Is ‘Oxycodone’ with an ‘I’ or a ‘Y’?

Lady suit: I can’t keep coming here to get my prescription filled. They’re beginning to recognize me.
Suit: So what?
Lady suit: So, what if I get in trouble?
Suit: Why would you get in trouble? You have a prescription from a doctor.
Lady suit: If you say so. Oh, shit, I forgot to put the date on this.

–Duane Reade, 89th & Columbus

Overheard by: Veronica at http://everythingisused.blogspot.com/

Wednesday One-Liners Say “Toro, Toro, Taxi!”

Little girl to father, about pedestrian sign: But I don't want to be a pedestrian! I want to be famous!

–17th & Irving

(pedestrians are crossing when they aren't supposed to. One almost gets hit by a taxi)
Female traffic cop to taxi driver
: Next time, just go ahead and run them over.


–Columbus Circle

Overheard by: momes

Homeless man directing traffic in middle of street: I killed 20,000 people, I ain't afraid of no car! I killed 20,000 people, I ain't afraid of no car!

–Jerry Orbach St

Gangster walking in front of Range Rover: Fuck it, if I'ma getting hit by a car, I'ma getting hit by a nice car.

–Broadway & Houston

Tourist driving car: I don't give a fuck if you own the world! I'm running your ass over!

–Financial District

Overheard by: lex

Wednesday One-Liners Take Advantage Of Medicare While They Still Can

Blonde on cell: So it was either an ambulance or a taqueria.

–Times Square

Girl on cell: What? What!? Go to the hospital. Go to the hospital! Please. Why? Because when you get stabbed you go to the hospital, you don’t go and lay down.

–Jersey Transit

Thug, in a rush: Look, I don’t give a fuck! I just want Medicaid!

–13th & 3rd

Disgruntled male gynecologist: We’re the bastard stepchildren of the surgery world. General surgeons barely think we’re human. "Oh, don’t get up, it’s just a gynecologist." I could have been a general surgeon, a plastic surgeon, a dentist, a lawyer… I’d be making more money, too. My brother’s cat needed a caesarian section and the vet got paid more than I get paid to do a caesarian section!

–Gynecology Office, 32nd & Madison

Overheard by: Rose Fox

Girl on cell: I told you I was sick and needed to go to the doctor’s! I can’t even swallow! I tried food, water and liquids!

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Ross

Chick in scrubs (lighting cigarette) to friend in scrubs: My heart rate won’t go down!

–113th & Amsterdam

Overheard by: McFreaky