Archive for the ‘Fears’ Category

36 Chambers of Wednesday One-Liners

Homegirl on cell: You live in Staten Island, that’s too close to the wilderness, near the border. I am not emotionally ready to meet you in Staten Island. –LIRR Suit: He’s from Staten Island. That my Graceland. –53rd & 6th Overheard by: The Sock Asian chick: What is that fruit called? Durian? That thing stinks so bad! It stinks like Staten Island bad! –G Train Overheard by: paco Girl #1: In how many stops do we get off?
Girl #2: [Blank stare.] –Staten Island Ferry Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, the next stop is South Ferry. From there, you can go to the wonderful Battery Park, go see the beautiful Statue of Liberty… Or go to Staten Island. –1 Train Overheard by: Smarlow

Wednesday One-Liners Are So Archaic and Bourgeoise

20-something woman to friend: Man, can I just tell you how absolutely bizarre coffee shop conversations are in this area?! I am never ever getting married if this is the sort of stuff married women talk about all day. –Smith & Bergan Overheard by: Mako Shark 30-something to older woman: I can’t get married yet! I haven’t experienced even… half of the women in the world yet! –86th & Broadway Overheard by: Carol Tween boy getting into the face of another tween boy: (loudly) I’ll be your fucking wife! –Morgan’s Market Overheard by: Akiko Little boy: We saw a peanut marrying a princess! –Penn Station Overheard by: blue Girl to friends: I think my husband’s gonna divorce me now that gay marriage is legal. –N10th & Bedford Ave, Williamsburg Overheard by: Non Hipster Woman in a wedding dress and veil, on cell: Yeah, I got kicked out. –Penn Station

Is ‘Oxycodone’ with an ‘I’ or a ‘Y’?

Lady suit: I can’t keep coming here to get my prescription filled. They’re beginning to recognize me.
Suit: So what?
Lady suit: So, what if I get in trouble?
Suit: Why would you get in trouble? You have a prescription from a doctor.
Lady suit: If you say so. Oh, shit, I forgot to put the date on this. –Duane Reade, 89th & Columbus Overheard by: Veronica at

Wednesday One-Liners Say “Toro, Toro, Taxi!”

Little girl to father, about pedestrian sign: But I don't want to be a pedestrian! I want to be famous! –17th & Irving (pedestrians are crossing when they aren't supposed to. One almost gets hit by a taxi)
Female traffic cop to taxi driver: Next time, just go ahead and run them over. –Columbus Circle Overheard by: momes Homeless man directing traffic in middle of street: I killed 20,000 people, I ain't afraid of no car! I killed 20,000 people, I ain't afraid of no car! –Jerry Orbach St Gangster walking in front of Range Rover: Fuck it, if I'ma getting hit by a car, I'ma getting hit by a nice car. –Broadway & Houston Tourist driving car: I don't give a fuck if you own the world! I'm running your ass over! –Financial District Overheard by: lex