Archive for the ‘Ferry’ Category

Men's Conversation Only Fills the Empty Hours Until the Next Blowjob

Girl to loser boyfriend: You wonder why we have all these problems? It's like, no matter what I say, everything goes in one ear and out the other with you.
Loser boyfriend: Nah babe, I listen to everything you say.
Girl: No, you don't–it's like I'm speaking another language…
Loser boyfriend: What do you mean “another language”?
Girl, getting upset: Nothing fuckin registers in that head of yours. We have all this shit to deal with because you don't know what the fuck I say. You say you listen but you just don't register nothing. Like I'm speaking another language or some shit!
Loser boyfriend, looking at another girl: So… what are you sayin'? –South Ferry

Wednesday Once-Upon-a-Time Liners

Little girl to mom: But mommy, what comes out of Tinkerbell's bladder? –92nd St & Madison Ave Overheard by: Gordon D Conductor: And don't forget to wave goodbye to me when you get off. Hey, you! You didn't wave! Can you people believe it? He didn't wave after I asked him to. So please, remember to wave goodbye to the conductor because we drive these trains, and without us you'd be taking the bus in the daylight and you vampires will burn, burn I say, burn! –3 Train Overheard by: I waved Tattooed man in leather vest, to friend: I'll tell you straight up: I am an angel designed to destroy demons. (weighty pause) I have no compassion… whatsoever… for demons! –42nd St Overheard by: Harper Man to friend: The problem with New York is that there are just so many places for zombies to hide. –57th St b/w 5th & 6th Little girl: That's not a fairy! That's a boat! –Waiting for Ellis Island Ferry Overheard by: Laura Teenage girl to friend: I'm not listening to you, I'm looking for the dragon! –Prospect Park: Man trying to quiet down crying toddler: Shhhhh, you sound like a Wookie! –Brooklyn Zoo Overheard by: Snoog

Wednesday One-Liners Love You Long Time

Cop to 7-Eleven employee: Man, I saw the hottest hooker last night! –23rd St White guy: People in Boston really like whoremongering, I guess. –Park Slope Overheard by: Ladle Man on cell: But I'm the best escort in the country! –Chelsea Man on cell: I used to pay for hookers. –10th St & 2nd Ave Overheard by: nomo Man on phone: The Caribbean thing… No, not the prostitute. –Fulton St Thugette to boyfriend: You don't have to go to Vegas to get a hooker, honey, you can just go to Atlantic City. –Staten Island Ferry

Wednesday One-Liners Need an F-Bomb Shelter

Hare Krishna guy hawking meditation books: I hate this fucking city, fucking assholes. Fuck. Fuck this city! –Union Square Station Girl on phone: So, how's Dan? (pause) Oh, fuck Dan! –South Ferry Terminal Teenage boy to another in idling train: We made up an expression just to see if he would start saying it too. We started saying "fuck my dick!" Like, I dropped my pencil and said "fuck my dick!" You know? And he started sayin' that shit, yo! –G Train Overheard by: lucyruth Guy on cell: Listen, I can fuck whoever the fuck I wanna fuck, whenever the fuck I wanna fuck. I choose not to fuck you. –42nd St b/w 3rd & Lexington Overheard by: julie f Late 40s suit to another: Yeah, so I say to him, just to be polite,"yeah, I'd fuck her", then he says "yeah, but I'd fuck her after you were done with her!" –Met Life Building Conductor: Please move all the way in, please, people, move all the way in, stand clear of the closing doors. People! (turns microphone off, shouts) Nobody fucking listens to me! –F Train Overheard by: BLAH

Wednesday One-Liners Just Got Off the Boat– Again

Puerto Rican guy to another: Out of all the continents, Staten Island is the craziest. –Spring St b/w Mott & Elizabeth Overheard by: Jack D Girl to guy: I can't wait to be a Staten Islander. –28th St & 3rd Ave Overheard by: Jennifer Suit on cell: I take the Staten Island ferry because it's like a free cruise. –60th & Amsterdam Overheard by: Mike Ferry announcer: Please follow the signs posted for your assistance, and please see uniformed crew men in case of emergency. Thank you for riding the Staten Island ferry. Have a nice life! –Staten Island Ferry Overheard by: Steven Professor: So is anyone here from Staten Island? (no reply) Good! –NYU

Wednesday One-Liners Put Their Jammies on

Intoxicated girl to another: So, I went into Sleepy's the other day… Apparently, you're not allowed to sleep in there. –Belle Harbor, Queens Overheard by: redxdress Woman coming out of bathroom stall (yawning and stretching): Wow, I just had the most amazing nap! –Madison Ave Overheard by: I<3Auditors Girl to friends: I slept over at Natalie's, and I was really drunk and had taken sleeping pills… –Staten Island Ferry Salesgirl to no one in particular: I had the best dream about Aids last night… –Beacon's Closet, Williamsburg Overheard by: Joe Roumeliotis Man on phone: Man, sometimes when I be wakin' up, my body be like "Alright, let's do this!" Then a few minutes later it be like: "Naaaah, fuck it!" –Union Square Overheard by: Stepheb Father to five-year-old son as man in gladiator costume walks by the day after Halloween: That man had a sleepover last night. –23rd & 3rd Overheard by: We were all thinking it

How Many One-Liners Are in a Wednesday? Show Your Work

Serious hipster girl: There is a nine-out-of-ten percent chance she won't call, but there is a one percent chance she will. –L Train Overheard by: Kansas Grad student: You slept with him? This is not a good data-point. –Fayerweather Hall, Columbia University Overheard by: Ladle Serious 20-something: You know pi? Like 3.14? You could shave the symbol into your pubes and you'd have hair pi. –Coffe Bar Lounge Student: Math chicks aren't the most glorious specimens of femininity. –Shake Shack Overheard by: Mary Elizabeth Young man to friend: If you add it up, it's a lot of money. But when you do the math, it's not really that much money. –Staten Island Ferry Terminal Overheard by: Joy Older cousin to younger cousin: How are you going to be rich if you don't like math? Rich people are good at math. They have to count their money. –Stuyvesant Square Overheard by: Peanut Girl complaining to math teacher: No, you don't understand. I can't multiply past six. –Marymount Manhattan College Overheard by: Austin G.