Chick: …and the next thing I knew, I kicked her ass three times. –Lolita Bar
Archive for the ‘Fighting and ass kicking’ Category
The NYC Subway Finishing School for Girls
Ghetto chick: She went by and shoved me and was like “Ex-cuse me!”, but not like “excuse me”, you know? So she had this long hair? Well, I grabbed her by the hair, flung her down the stairs, and started kicking her ass. I’ll fight anybody. –D train
Readers: Answer This Overheard Question
Man: What do you give a 16 year old Republican besides a kick in the teeth? –Barnes & Nobles, Park Slope
Then You Should Stop Doing It…
Bully: What’s up? What’s up? What’s up? What’s up? What’s up? What’s up? Why are you jacking me?
Scared Russian teen: I don’t know what that means!
–D Train
Betting on Blacker
A homeless man steals money from a yuppie/African immigrant, who promptly grabs the homeless guy and wrestles him to the floor.
Hobo: I ain’t bothering you! I ain’t bothering you!
Passenger #1: I’m betting on the black guy!
Passenger #2: They’re both black!
Passenger #1: I’m betting on the blacker guy!
The immigrant throws the homeless man out of the car at the next stop.
Passenger #3: Man, he’s tough! Back in his country, they don’t have McDonald’s to go to for dinner! They hunt rhinos over there!
–6 Train
Overheard by: Todd Seavey
Sage Advice
Urban Youth #1: I’m not Eric. I fight dirty.
Urban Youth #2: Why the fuck you wanna fight fair for? You know you’re gonna lose.
–D Train
Paging Pat Benatar
Young urban male: He didn’t hit you hard enough.
Young urban female: Yes, he did.
Young urban male: No, he hit you soft. *BAF*
Young urban female: The last time he hit me, he hit me mad hard.
–D Train
Go Granddaddy!
Black man: “And he kept on beating up niggers until he was 37!” – On the Subway
The Perils Of Too Much Early Childhood Exposure to Whac-A-Mole
Crazy lady at crosswalk: I am a professional jaywalker! If you jaywalk, I will give you a ticket! If you don't, I will not!
Young black woman: Yo! Being who I am, I will bop you on the head.
–E 124th St & Lexington
Overheard by: waitingforthefight
Worked for Dan and Roseanne Connor
Guy: Why would I struggle with a bigger woman?
Friend: Because you are not agile!
–49th & 3rd