Guy to other guy: You might be dead and I might be in jail, but I’ll still kick yo ass. –Vanderbilt Ave near Grand Central
Little girl: Mommy, my ears hurt!
Mom: That’s your third strike! I said stop! She hits her daughter. Little girl: That didn’t hurt.
Mom: I will kill you right now, don’t tell me that didn’t hurt. –LaGuardia Overheard by: Zeve
Girl #1: Did you see those two homeless men fighting by the subway?
Girl #2: I know! That was horrible!
Girl #1: Yeah. I was rooting for the guy in blue.
Girl #2: Really? I was going for the other one. –Chelsea
My guy friend and I stopped on the sidewalk to finish up a conversation and say goodbye. A man walks by and gave a hard shoulder nudge to my friend and kept walking.
Guy friend: Yeah, excuse me!
Man: You stopped in the middle of the sidewalk. You can’t stop in the middle of the sidewalk; people need to get by. An argument ensues, then the man walks away. He changes his mind, walks back and gets within inches of my friend’s face. Man: I have a cold and I’m going to talk right in your face! –Broadway & Fulton Overheard by: Jessie
Young urban male: He didn’t hit you hard enough.
Young urban female: Yes, he did.
Young urban male: No, he hit you soft. *BAF*
Young urban female: The last time he hit me, he hit me mad hard. –D Train
Girlfriend, pointing at the base of a tree: Look! Look! There’s a rat and a squirrel fighting!
Girlfriend: Yes there is! Look! There’s a fucking rat attacking that squirrel!
Boyfriend: Shhhh. Don’t talk about the rats. Don’t pay attention to them.
Girlfriend, pointing at passerby: Look at her, she saw them! She knows what I’m talking about.
Boyfriend: Ignore the rats. –Washington Square Park East
Teacher: My father always told me, "Never run away from a fight. If the guy's bigger than you, hit him. If he gets back up, hit him again. If he gets back up again, hit him with a garbage can. If he still gets back up, run like hell, 'cause this dude's gonna kill you!" –Stuyvesant High School Teacher: Okay. Emergency procedures. If the fire bell rings, we run like hell. –Stuyvesant High School Overheard by: Goober Chinese teacher (referring to Sichuan earthquake): They had a saying after the earthquake happened that originates from a male part. "People are supposed to rise up, and get hard!" …and be strong. –Bard High School Early College Math teacher: Give me your little men! –Spence School English teacher: I could be charged with child abuse in some states for teaching grammar in 90-degree weather. (student is silent) I'm not going to hit you. –Brooklyn Tech Overheard by: Julie
Guy to friend: Oowee! Some weed and a perm! That's my perfect New York day. –West Village Overheard by: Joe Conductor: Step in, stand clear…let's go New York! –1 Train Overheard by: Ashley Nelson Intoxicated creepster: Are we in Manhattan? What the hell! This city is so full of New Yorkers! –St. Mark's Place Overheard by: Lizzzzz Bitter man on subway: I think one summer here would cure them of any love they have for this town. –1 Train Passerby to surprised-looking wife, watching fight: They're fighting. It's New York, that's what people do in this city. –City Hall Overheard by: ascorbique & almost famous Grinning paramedic to female tourist in shock, strapping her to backboard after she was struck by a car: Welcome to New York! –34th St & 7th Ave Overheard by: Mateo que Feo
Queer #1: Do you know the best way two break up a fight between two drag queens?
Queer #2: No, what? –14th St & 7th Ave Overheard by: Kelly Speich
Chick: So, you’re working here now?
Barista guy: Well, had they taught me karate from a young age like they were supposed to I would be fighting shoguns in Japan right now. –Park Slope coffee shop Overheard by: kendell chambers