Archive for the ‘Fighting and ass kicking’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners in Elbow-Patch Blazers

Professor: So I told my grad students they could have an A if they earned it, or if they beat me in a 12-minute cage fight. –Fordham Universityy Israeli politics professor, after class: There's enough Tylenol out there to take care of your hangovers after Purim. So, all your sorry little asses better be in this class at three o'clock, Wednesday afternoon. –Yeshiva University English professor: Yeah, the end of the poem relates to the beginning. Every good poem has a return… just like a good walk. –Hunter college Professor: Of course there was marital harmony! As we all know, the family who cuts drugs together, stays together. –Fordham Law School Overheard by: EntertainedStudent Professor: An example of synecdoche would be, "get your ass over here." You want all of them, not just their ass. But sometimes, you do just want their ass. And we all know how that goes. But that sort of thing doesn't happen in a classroom… usually. –NYU Overheard by: queenofscots

Wednesday One-Liners Want to Know What Makes the Law & Order Sound

Law professor: Sometimes you just want to tell your client, "Wake the fuck up!" –NYU Law School Law student on cell: Well, it's hard to locate them, since I don't know who they are. –Columbia Law School Overheard by: arctinus Older looking woman on cell: No, don't fight him, Henry. We're Jewish. God gave us lawyers for a reason. –42nd & Avenue of the Americas Overheard by: Elizabeth Awesome judge: If you do not have a basic understanding of the English language, you will not be able to serve. If you cannot understand what I'm saying, please come up now. Now, two translators will translate what I just said. If you understood what I said, obviously don't come up here. –Supreme Court Building Suit to girl: You must be a lawyer. (pause) Or a cunt. –Bryant Park Overheard by: How did he know? Thug: Don't say anything to her! Don't you know anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law? –132nd & St. Nicholas Drunk lawyer on phone: Yeah! I convict rape victims. –Outside Shea Stadium

…That Was You?

Hipster guy #1: Last night I started fighting with someone.
Hipster guy #2: Are you serious? I'm always fighting other people. Cause y'know, that's the only thing you can do besides kiss them.
Hipster guy #2: This one time I accidentally kissed someone and I was like “eewwwww”.
Hipster guy #1: Ewww. –Brooklyn Heights Overheard by: What the hell were they talking about?

The Bedwetting She’s Made Her Peace With

Woman: …I am just trying to figure out why you thought it was okay for you to pack for a weekend at my parents’ home, in a backpack.
Man: What’s wrong with my backpack? You know I don’t own an overnight bag.
Woman: How can your only alternative be a fucking backpack? You can’t understand how that would be embarrassing for me? Jesus, Adrian, you’re 37 years old and you’re still traveling with a backpack? –70th & 3rd Overheard by: K. Bumsted