Archive for the ‘Film’ Category

Unlike the Arrogant Production Crews Who Ruin Our Morning Commutes?

Film crew: Hey little girl, can you hold on a second? We're shooting a movie.
Little girl: For real? Can I be in it?
Film crew: No, you're not in costume. You'd have to be a gangster from the '20s.
Little girl: I'm gangsta! Look! (shoots him with fake gun)
Film crew: See those actors? They're in the right costume.
Little girl: They look like poor people. Can I say hi to the poor people?
Film crew: Not right now, we're in the middle of shooting, so we have to be quiet.
Little girl, screaming at top of her lungs: You are sick! You're not gonna let a little girl say hi to poor people?
Film crew, under his breath: This kid's going to ruin my life.

–Film Set, 160th St & St Nicholas

Overheard by: Natalie

If We've Been Bad, New York Is Where We Go After Death

Young lady: I'm making a documentary on Park Slope. May I ask you why you are sitting on your umbrella? I can understand sitting under your umbrella, because it's sunny…
Young girl: In case there's a flood, I'll be able to float away.
Young lady: Do you expect there to be a flood today?
Young girl: I expect there to be a flood every day. But I'm from Miami…

–Union St, Brooklyn

Overheard by: nicole p

Isn't That “Yippee-ki-yay, Motherfucker”?

Teacher: So, in Gangs of New York, Amsterdam throws the bible into the river. What does this represent?
Student #1: He's rejecting his religion because he wants to get revenge.
Teacher: Right. The bible says…
Student #2: “You shall not get revenge”!
Teacher: I don't think that's actually what it says.
Student #2: Yeah, whatever… It could be the 11th commitment!

–St. Francis Prep, Queens

In That It Sucks for All Eternity

Girl #1, in line for movie: This line is so long. Maybe we should go see another movie and come back and get our phones after.
Girl #2: That's not a bad idea. What could we see?
Girl #1: I would totally see Twilight again.
Girl #2: I didn't see it the first time you guys went.
Girl #1: Oh my god! You would love it! Did you like Degrassi?
Girl #2: Of course! That show is awesome.
Girl #1: Well Twilight is like Degrassi but with vampires. It's awesome!

–Loews Lincoln Center Theater

Overheard by: Suffering in silence

Wednesday One-Liners Looked Better in the Previews

Husky unshaved guy to younger girlfriend: You mean you never saw Animal House? You're not human!

–Lower West Side

Thug to another: Jabba the Hutt? That's like some Tony Soprano shit, nigga. And the spices? That's drugs. Star Wars drugs!

–13th St & University

Overheard by: Jaimie

Girl to friends: My English teacher said Precious is "whack."

–City Cinemas, E 86th St

Stuffy Bulgarian professor: Do you guys know the film Soul Plane? It's very funny, right?

–NYU

Overheard by: really glad I got up before 9:30 for this

Girl on cell: Yeah, after that movie, I'm gonna think all adopted kids are evil dwarfs with a hormone imbalance.

–Columbus Circle