A two year old Chinese girl decided to squat on a manhole cover. Chinese Mom: What are you doing?! That will warm up your butt and it will burst into flames! –66th & Columbus Overheard by: Todd Seavey
Little black girl boarding Chinatown bus: Mama, I was on this bus before and nothing happened.
Mother, also boarding bus: Yeah, well, I was on this bus last week and it caught on fire.
Guy in red community service jumpsuit: You know how they caught me for that? I went back to look at the fire. They said 85% of the people go back to watch.
Girl in same jumpsuit: That makes sense. Cuz I did that before too, but I didn't get caught for it.
–Mott & Bleecker
Overheard by: Bookgirl
Police officer: Where's the fire?
Cab driver: What fire? I'm not a fireman!
Teen guy #1: It's the middle of the night and your house is completely on fire. What do you do?
Teen guy #2: Uh… Sleep?
–Stuyvesant High School
Man in car at stoplight on cell: Yeah, so I grabbed a towel for my nuts and ran down the stairs. Yes, I covered my nuts. So I run down the stairs covering my nuts with a towel because I knew where the smoke was coming from!
–127th & Lenox
Street tough to guy in wheelchair: So you kicked him in the nuts? (shrugs) Yeah, word.
–E 2nd St & Ave C
Overheard by: Ben Couch
Crazy man: Where's Howie? Where's my favorite nut-nut?
Overheard by: JBeck
Dude on cell while riding bicycle: It's hanging off your nuts?
Mom 20-something daughter heading to Penn Station: Should we grab our nuts, at least?
–7th Ave & 34th St
Overheard by: Just don't grab my nuts
Bodega clerk, following hobo outside: Why you runnin out my store like it's on fire? I know you!
Hobo: I know what'chu know.
Bodega clerk: I know what'chu know too, but I alto know that I know what you don't know I know.
Hobo: You ain't even be knowin what you know.
Guy: So I'm like, "can I get a lighter?" and she pulls out two, and one is literally a penis with the flame coming out the tip, and the other one is a guy doing one of these moves, and the guy's like a tripod. So I'm like, "can I get one in a normal color?"
African American man describing Indian restaurant to friend: That'll put fire in yo' ass.
Man to stranger: Hey, can I borrow you lighter? I need to go melt something in the bathroom.
Overheard by: Tim
Conductor: Once again, there is nothing on fire! We got it under control. We apologize for the smoke. Next stop is Newark airport. There is nothing on fire.
Overheard by: Where there's smoke
Man #1, watching firemen climb a ladder and enter a brownstone: What are they doing? Why are there so many of them?
Man #2: Maybe somebody got stuck in the bathtub.
Man #1: You're probably right.
–75th St & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Stephanie
Hipster #1: They thought it was the coolest thing they'd ever done.
Hipster #2: The firemen?
Hipster #1: The girls.
–Lafayette & E 4th
Overheard by: Jon A.